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Blobby Log Owners Manual

Tagged: Bingo Clem
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Blobby Log Day 101 (part three)

As written by Professor Fliggins in Chapter 6: Isle of Detached Shawnimals > Vol. 1

Timestamp: Dusk; Day 101
Weather: Noisy.
Landscape: Shift, change, tumble, reform.

NOTES:

Hurry hurry, friends – we must get back in the air to find the REAL Professor Island!

Blobby, Roy, & Moustachia: You’re back!

PF: Yes, indeed I am and I have been so many varieties of poopy to you all I cannot begin to apologize, but we must flee!

Bingo Clem: Why are you leaving, and in such a hurry?

PF: I MUST get to my home to save it.  I have gagged too many lollies here in my Dark Syrup half-slumber.

Bingo Clem: But you belong here, friend!

High Chancellor Mouth #2: The Vice Chancellor is right – you were not respected in your home, you were shunned and mistrusted.  There is no reason to go back to that.

High Chancellor Mouth #4: The prophecies put you here, Moustached Fliggins.

PF: Wait – stop running and please listen with all of your ear-holes Mr. and Ms. and… It High Chancellor.  I must save Professor Island, not only will I be responsible for Mr. Demon Discovering it with his terrible evil, but I owe it to the place that raised me to protect it from harm in general.

High Chancellor Mouth #1: We do not understand.  You have everything here and there you have nothing but closed-minds and disrespect.

PF: Sometimes running away is one’s only option.  Sometimes the World is too unbearable so one must enter into a new World, free of that which torments.  But sometimes you can fix that from which you feel Detached.   Sometimes, one must fight to make a better home.  Sometimes, being Detached is not a permanent condition.

Crowny: For me it is!

Roy: Fair enough.

PF: So please let us leave to fight for our estranged Home, Sirs and Madames.  I am certain if the Isle faced similar peril, you would do much to protect it.

Bingo Clem: He’s right, bosses.

High Chancellor Mouths #2 and 4: Very well.

PF: Thank you, friends.  So.  Does anyone know where the real Professor Island is?

All Voices: Sorry.

Roy: Crowny said something in the Big Blue knows, something named Blubba.

Crowny: Maybe!

PF: We are not equipped to set sail on the Big Blue.

Moustachia: Mistew High Chancewew?  Did you say Moustaches aw woyawty here?

High Chancellor Mouth #1: Yes, little Majesty, you and the Professor are royalty here.

Moustachia: Fweckew Beach – tuwn aw diwigibew into a big oh boat!

PF: Let me translate.: Freckle-sand, please convert our airship into a watership.

Freckles: YES, SIR!

*zzzhhhzhhhhzhhhhVVVVV O O O O O O RRRRMMMmmmmmffffff*

PF: Remarkable!

Blobby: I have never seen a dust cloud participating in carpentry before.

Roy: I have.

Blobby: Really?

Roy: Haha – NO!

Blobby: Shut up!

*bing!*

PF: That was the most miraculous thing I have ever seen.

Bingo Clem: This is a miraculous place, friend.

PF: Truly.  All aboard, lads and lass!  We shall figure out how to sail along the way.  We will find this Blubba-thing!

High Chancellor Mouths 1-4: Thank you for blessing us with the present of your presence.  You are welcome here always.

PF: Thank you, all.  Goodbye!

Bingo Clem: Here, take a sack full of our Freckle sand.  May its miracles serve you later.

PF: Thank you, Professor Monkey Claw.  I shall miss you most of all!

Bingo Clem: No problem, chum!

All Voices: GOODBYE, PROFESSOR FLIGGINS.  MAY YOU ALWAYS RE-ATTACH  WITH YOUR OWN POWER.

PF: Goodbye.  Goodbye.  Goodbye-bye-bye.

Windyfizz!

Current Mood: Hanged-over?
Discoveries Made: Freckle-sand friendship!

Hereinto referenced: ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤

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Blobby Log Day 101 (part two)

As written by Professor Fliggins in Chapter 6: Isle of Detached Shawnimals > Vol. 1

Timestamp: Afternoon; Day 101
Weather: Everything here is alive.
Landscape: Everything here is moving with an unsettling love.

NOTES:

Blobby: So what’s the plan?

Moustachia: We just gotta get Mama to sit stiw.  Weave the west to me!

Roy: Okay, there he is, talking to the High Chancellor…

PF: You know, Professor Four-Mouth, I once defeated Mr. Demon all by myself, using my brains and muscles in tandem.

(Applause and cheers from Detached hangers-on.)

High Chancellor Mouth #2: Oooh, very impressive.  We should yet another celebratory feast in your honor.

High Chancellor Mouth #3: Yes, please.

Roy: He’s lying!  He didn’t defeat no Mr. Demon!

PF: Oh marvelous! I belong somewhere for the first time in my life!

Moustachia: Gimme that Ninja Staw Cookie, Bwobby!

Blobby: Yes’m.

PF: And did you know that I have been solely responsible for meticulously documenting my adventures without the help of anyone?

(Cheers and applause.)

Moustachia: Mama!  Take this!  He-YAH!

*fupfupfupfupfupDOIP!*

PF: YOW!  You just threw a Ninja Star Cookie at my knee!  Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow…

Moustachia: It’s fow youw own good, Mama.

High Chancellor Mouths 1-4: What is the meaning of this attack?  This is a peaceful Isle!  Detached brethren – GET THEM!

*rumble-umble-umble*

Blobby: Oh, man – the walls are coming down!

Roy: At us!

High Chancellor Mouths 1-4: You will pay for attacking our distinguished, already abused guest!

PF: HALT!  Do not harm these violent little friends!

Moustachia: Mama?

PF: High Chancellor, Sirs and Madames, I have been…  asleep.

(Undetached gasps.)

PF: Please let us go to the freckle beach peaceful – we must leave immediately!

All Voices: As you wish.

Current Mood: Awake!
Discoveries Made: So many oopsies.

Hereinto referenced: ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤

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Blobby Log Day 100

As written by Professor Fliggins in Chapter 6: Isle of Detached Shawnimals > Vol. 1

Timestamp: Afternoon; Day 100
Weather: Sandy and sunny
Landscape: Tropical with a hint of shanty

NOTES:

I should not have even brought you to this feast, so do not mess up my important dinner with Professor Professor.  There is no place for your jealousy here!

Blobby: I won’t screw up your dinner with the High Chancellor, PF.  Even though you’re so messed up you can’t even tell the difference between a giant pile of appendage loose-ends from Professor Professor.

Bingo Clem: Hey, everybuddies!  How are you?

PF: Marvelous, my esteemed colleague!  I feel like every day of my new life is like getting a foot massage on the moon!

Roy: Is that good?

Bingo Clem: Yipee!  We’re all so glad you like it here, Mr. Fliggins.  We can all tell you’re gonna be someone special here – you’re important to us.

PF: Well thank you, Professor Monkey Claw!  At least SOMEONE appreciates me.

Moustachia: Ugh.

Blobby: What a diva.

Bingo Clem: We DEFINITELY appreciate you, sir-buddy!  That’s why the High Chancellor called this dinner meeting.  Oh here it is now!

(loud, unbearably out-of-tune trumpets)

Blobby: GAH!

High Chancellor Mouth #1: Welcome, welcome, all.  Please, please be seated.  We have many delicious and detached foods to chew!

PF: Thank you, Professor.

High Chancellor Mouth #2: Thank YOU, Professor.

High Chancellor Mouth #3: Pass the detached peaches, please.

High Chancellor Mouth #1: It is an honor having a hero of your stature in my palace, Mr. Fliggins.

PF: Well, it is an honor being treated like how I deserve.  FINALLY.

High Chancellor Mouth #3: mmph-chew-yeth-slurp-finally!

High Chancellor Mouth #2: You know, you are more than our ordinary new resident here,

PF: I have been feeling very EXTRAordinary, sir.

High Chancellor Mouth #1: You are.  You are.

High Chancellor Mouth #2: Can I tell you a story?  It is a very old one for us.

PF: But, of course!

High Chancellor Mouth #2: Very well.

High Chancellor Mouth #1: Long ago, of course, this isle was quite bare.  The only acceptance these shores knew was a cultivating of silence and empty.

PF: Mm-hmm…

High Chancellor Mouth #3: Blurrrp.

High Chancellor Mouth #2: One day, a very grumpy sailor creature washed ashore onto this very isle.

High Chancellor Mouth #1: This was many centuries ago…  the isle, uninhabited…

High Chancellor Mouth #2: Yes.  The sailor-thing was sure he was soon, at any moment, going to be greeted by beautiful native ladies who would dump on him island treasures and native lady affections.

High Chancellor Mouth #1: Therefore, each night for a week he made sure to shave off his moustache so as to most handsomely receive these hypothetical island maidens for a date.

High Chancellor Mouth #2: Of course, these fictional native women never arrived.

High Chancellor Mouth #1: And his seven shorn ‘staches awoke and banded together to eject this grumpy fellow from the isle, least of all for his problematic views on the instincts of beautiful island maidens.

High Chancellor Mouth #2: The Seven ‘Staches surveyed the land decided to create an entire society here, a place where the pieces of whole folks on the mainland could run away to if the part rejected the whole.

High Chancellor Mouth #1: You have met the Moustachios earlier in your travels?

PF: Yes, I am this ones “Mama”.

Moustachia: You’w acting wike a jewk-mama.

High Chancellor Mouth #2: This little Moustachio and you – Professor of the ‘Stache – have returned to us for a reason.

High Chancellor Mouth #3: These yams are detach-a-licious!

High Chancellor Mouth #1: After the isle had accepted an eclectic cadre of broken and disillusioned creatures from around our World, the Seven Shorn ‘Staches who founded this great society, proud of their accomplishments but still the ultimate Detachers, broke a piece of the Island off, and flew it away to start a world just for Moustachios.

High Chancellor Mouth #4: The Prophecy has spoke that one day the Moustaches will return.

Blobby: Oh goodness.

PF: I agree with your third mouth, oddly-shaped Professor Professor, these are great yams!

High Chancellor Mouth 1-4: Professor Fliggins, we believe that you are the Moustaches that have returned to us to save us from Sadness!

PF: Of course I am!

(rustling in the feather palms behind us…)

Blobby: This is no good.  Hey, what’s that?

Crown-shaped Thing: Hey, don’t look at me!

Roy: Is that Crowny?

Blobby: Get him!

Fugitive Crowny: Eep!!!

Chancellor!

Current Mood: Yammy
Discoveries Made: Many, many mouths!

Hereinto referenced: ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤

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Blobby Log Day 98

As written by Professor Fliggins in Chapter 6: Isle of Detached Shawnimals > Vol. 1

Timestamp: Noon; Day 98
Weather: Perfect.
Landscape: Alive with Homeness.

NOTES:

Bingo Clem: We’re almost there, to the capital city of the Isle of Detached Shawnimals…

PF: Professor Island University campus!  Huzzah!

Bingo Clem: Actually it’s called “Limbton,” but you were close!

PF: Regardless huzzah!

Bingo Clem: Huzzah!

Roy: I think that rock just winked at me…

Blobby: Is the ground giggling?

?: Tee-hee-hee-hee…

Bingo Clem: My friendlings, may your weary hearts feel no more persecution – welcome to Limbton, the capital of this fine land!

(Off-key and obnoxiously loud trumpets)

Wonderous!Blobby: What the..?

Singing Voices from Everywhere at Once:
You’re here, you’re here
You’re finally here!
Your days are free and empty of
Unbearable fear!

A Green Apron:
Welcome, welcome, welcome
Yer future is now!

Upside-down Udders:
No longer are you forced
To be squeezed on a cow!

What Appears to be an Enormous Bronze Elbow from a Statue of a Vegetable with Arms:
Universal acceptance
Is our M. O.

Twelve Mauve Toes, Harmonizing:
Once you put your feet up
You’ll never want to go-o-o-o!

Everyone Again:
You’re here, you’re here
You’re finally here!
Back there you are nothing
But here you are dear!

A Sink with Pockets and a Little Top Hat:
Being complete was
So incomplete

Three Dangly Earrings Wearing Sunglasses:
My best friend’s a tusk
And a wallet with feet!

— (The music stops) —

A Giant Amalgamated Monstrosity with at Least Four Mouths Singing Together:
You’re here.  You’re here.
Be perfectly calm.
The only thing that’s right
Is being totally wrong.

Welcome to the Isle of the Detached.  May the Arrival Feast begin.

Current Mood: Elated, relieved, belonged.
Discoveries Made: The end of a journey.

Hereinto referenced: ¤ ¤ ¤

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Blobby Log Day 97

As written by Professor Fliggins in Chapter 6: Isle of Detached Shawnimals > Vol. 1

Timestamp: Afternoon; Day 97
Weather: Accepting!
Landscape: Familiarish!

NOTES:

Bingo Clem: …basically, the Isle of Detached Shawnimals is just that – a place where the detached can convene.  We welcome all those misfits who no longer fit in.  I’ve noticed you all staring at my head.

PF, Blobby, Roy, & Moustachia: NO!

PF: It is impolite to stare – no matter how freaky one’s head growths appear to be!

Bingo Clem: It’s okay!  Everything about this place and everything about me is detached and happier to be here reformed!  For instance, this black nub jutting out of my forehead – this used to be the arm of a Ninja who worked way too hard, constantly running data analyses and focus groups, his little arm got so tired of busy consultant work that it decided to pop off and run away here – or so I’ve been told.  Sometimes, the detached decide to become fully aware and alive – like my claw body.  Other times, the detached pieces just like to come here and live a relaxing and worry-free life.  That’s what the lizard tail and this Ninja nub have done and I think I look quite fetching as a result!

Roy: Sure you are!

Blobby: This is pretty interesting, Mr. Clem.  But, what do you mean when you say “everything” here is detached?

Bingo Clem: Well, for instance, this shack is made from the bark of Dark Forest trees that came here to no longer be evil – we get all of our wood this way.  And you’re familiar with Freckle Beach and Face-water River – the sand of Freckle Beach is actually the freckles of hundreds of creatures from around the world, the Face-water River are tears and spit, both frequently unappreciated, discarded parts of heads.  We put so much shame in freckles and tears, we hide them under make-ups and in hankies.  Here they don’t have to be ashamed for merely existing.  Here they are welcome and free.  This place, you’ll soon see, is an oasis of unique and delightfully peculiar beauty.

Blobby: Crazy.  Really, this is fascinating and all, but why are you keeping us here and telling us this?

Bingo Clem: It’s my job to welcome all the newly arrived immigrants of disillusionment!  You detached fellows no longer need to feel alone again!

PF: What a homecoming!  I DID feel so alone back on the old Professor Island!  This new Professor Island of the Detached should be a wonderful place to retire FOREVER!

Blobby: PF, stop, you’re confusing everyone.  This isn’t Professor Island.

PF: Rutabagas!

Blobby: Ugh.  Mr. Clem, our comrade here isn’t well, he’s recently been under the spell of Dark Syrup so he thinks he’s home…

PF: I am home!

Bingo Clem: I think he may be home too, tiny friendship.  Our borders only open up for the detached.  Even though Mr. Fliggins is a little dazed, he seems to be a misfit, just like us, and I believe you all will fit in nicely here… for the rest of time!

Moustachia: Wuh-woh.

Roy: But we’re all pretty whole, except for flying ‘stachia over here…

Bingo Clem: Perhaps you think that you’re whole, but there’s a piece of all of your soul-parts that’s detached from something.  Perhaps you’re detached from your old home, perhaps you’re detached from your old self and mistakes.  Perhaps you belong here now.  AND THUS CONCLUDES ISLE ORIENTATION.  Let us proceed to happiness eternal!  Come with me.

PF: Smashing!

Roy: Wait!

Blobby: Guys, if we don’t snap PF out of it, we’ll never get back to Professor Island to save it from Mr. Demon!

Current Mood: Heroic.
Discoveries Made: The beginning of everlasting peace.

Hereinto referenced: ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤