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Blobby Log Owners Manual

Tagged: Lumplands
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Blobby Log Day 147

As written by Professor Fliggins in Chapter 10: Lumplands > Vol. 1

Timestamp: Afternoon; Day 147
Weather: Clean!
Landscape: Good as new! Everything is spic-and-span - even the dirt is no longer dirty.


Good!  All done!  Every last bit of refuse is being put to good use.

Dum-Lump: Lump – lookee at my fancy new plastic necklace.  It fits tight!

Dummer-Lump: Tray mag-nuh-feek!  Lump.

Dum-Lump: Lump.

Dummer-Lump: Lump.

Land Lump: Well this is a glorious day!  Thank you from the bottom of my lump!

PF: Oh my pleasure, now – how can we get our airship to Foodlandia without flying in these Devil infested skies?

Land Lump: Well just look at it, my child!

PF: Zounds!

Land Lump: We learned a lot from you!  Seeing how you were able to invent new uses for old junk, we have redesigned your junky old Dirigible into a new LAND-CRAWLER, with trendy Lumpy-treads!

PF: REMARKABLE!  How does it work?

Land Lump: You simply glide forward atop our gentle Lump-friends here and they will massage your ship across the land by pushing it on their rolling backs.  When they reach the rear of the vessel, they just lump on up to the front again in and endless stream of lumpgenuity!

Roy: But what if the Flying Devils look down and see this tank thing rolling over the hills?

Land Lump: We have painted a big Lumpity smiley face on top of the kerchief balloon!

Blobby: So they’ll think it’s just a big dumb Lump bopping along…

Moustachia: Bwilliant!

PF: That you so much for this, Land Lump!  If I could purchase you and keep  you on my home mantle I WOULD IN A HEARTBEAT.

Land Lump: That would nice, would it not?  And thank YOU, my child – it is because of your hard work that we are able to provide you with this gift.

PF: I retract all of the insults I have muttered under my breath these last few days.  You Lumps fellows are all right!

Land Lump: Delightful!  Now, hop aboard and go stop that littering Mr. Demon once and for all!

PF: Yes…  HE is the litterer.  Never forget, Land Lump.  Never again.  Lumps, AWAY!

Lump Treads: Lump.  Lump.  Lump.  Lump.  Lump…

Lump tank?!

Current Mood: Determined!
Discoveries Made: Yet another transformation to my Dirigible!

Hereinto referenced: ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤

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Blobby Log Day 146

As written by Professor Fliggins in Chapter 10: Lumplands > Vol. 1

Timestamp: Blazing Hot Noon; Day 146
Weather: BLAZING.
Landscape: Looks fine to ME.


Land Lump: And do not forget to double-scrub each blade of Lump Grass after you have de-garbaged it!  Oh – you missed a blade over here!

PF: This is ridiculous…

Land Lump: GASP!  The Little Lumps!  LOOK!

Roy: Yikes!

Blobby: Whoah – how’d so many manage to get stuck in that 6-pack plastic ring?

Little Lumps: Lump, lump, lump, gulp, gasp, lump!

PF: Sweet.  Gracious.  You know, perhaps creatures that cram their necks into plastic rings DESERVE to check out of the evolutionary continuum…

Little Lumps: Lump, gasp, gulp, lump!

Land Lump: What a MONSTER that Mr. Demon is for doing this to our pristine pastoral lives!

PF: Yeah yeah, he is a real JERK…

Roy: Just tell him it’s your Ginger-Fizz plastic rings the Lumps are stuck in…

PF: Shh!  I shall rescue you Little Imbeciles from Mr. Demon’s carelessness!  Let unky Fliggins shake you free.  Shake-shake-shake!

Little Lumps: Ow, lump, ow.

Blobby: Where you want us to put these full garbage bags?

PF: I do not care; dump them into that pond or something…

Land Lump: No!  We shall have to construct a cannon to fire this waste into the sun!

PF: WHAT!  No no no…  Look here, we can use, um, all this…

Blobby: Huh?

PF: Just go with it…  Look!  These pie tins, for instance, they sure do make radical-tastic hats and fanny-shields!

Land Lump: What?  I do not know about that, my child…

Roy: What are you doing, PF?

PF: I am NOT sticking around here trying to figure out how to build a garbage cannon that will reach the sun, not with these nincompoops!  And these empty peanut bags are great for storing marbles, loose change, or more peanuts!

Land Lump: I mean… I suppose… but the cannon…

PF: AND this shattered glass!  It… could…

Roy: Make a beautiful mosaic of a tree or something?

Land Lump: OOOoooohh!  Now that IS something!  Trees are the wisest of all creatures you know…

PF: Yes, they sure are!  Well that explains a lot…

Land Lump: Yes!  I do believe we CAN use this waste for new things!  Let us finish repurposing all of it, then we shall help you escape!

PF: Oh lovely!  And do you see these paperclips and chewed bubble gum?  Separate, they are useless, but put them together and VOILA!  A pair of smart earrings!

Land Lump: Wow!  That is pretty now and I cannot explain why!

Tres magnifique!  Let us hurry and be done with this before these tree-huggers catch on to us…

Lump Sixer

Current Mood: Under-breath-muttery.
Discoveries Made: Recycling!

Hereinto referenced: ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤

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Blobby Log Day 145

As written by Professor Fliggins in Chapter 10: Lumplands > Vol. 1

Timestamp: Bum-Crack of Dawn; Day 145
Weather: Grim.
Landscape: Litter-strewn, still.


Land Lump: We hope you are ready for a full day of cleaning, little professor man!

PF: *grumble grumble*

Land Lump: Oh, and so as not to contaminate your skin – or our sacred land – the Little Lumps have made you these bright orange clean-up costumes!

grrrrrRoy: Excuse me?

PF: It is quite bad enough that we have to stoop down and clutch waste, not to mention with these camouflage Lumps on our heads…

Camo-Lumps: Lump, lump, lump…

PF: But now we must wear tacky orange jumpsuits as well?  I refuse!

Land Lump: But you do not need to stoop down, we have these spears and trash bags, you will look like prisoners to the environment!

PF: I do not wish to…


PF: Okay okay okay…
%0professorisland.comailor: Duh, um we even made duh one with seven sleevey things for your little seven-legged bug friend, duh…

Roy: I’m a septapus, I’ll have you know!

Lump-Tailor: Lump, lump, lump…

Land Lump: All righty roo!  Get to work, environmental prisoners!

PF, Blobby, Roy, & Moustachia:

Discoveries Made: The way out of the Pits of Humiliation is NOT to dig deeper.

Hereinto referenced: ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤

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Blobby Log Day 144

As written by Professor Fliggins in Chapter 10: Lumplands > Vol. 1

Timestamp: Early Morning; Day 144
Weather: Cloudy, full of whining.
Landscape: Pretty dirty!


Land Lump: What an impossible crisis!

PF: Yes, yes.  It is simply awful awful.  BUT we NEED to figure out how to get an airship to Foodlandia without using the air.

Land Lump: Perhaps I could help you, child, but the countryside is coated in GARBAGE.  I cannot even BEGIN to think about your problems in light of this environmental DISASTER.

Blobby: PF, we should really fess up to dumping all that stuff on the Lumplands…

PF: Silence your Blob-hole!  We have more immediate concerns that the gradual damage wrought by simple litter!

Land Lump: Oh and the Little Lumps!  They do not know what to do with it all!  THE TRAGEDY THICKENS.

Little Lumps: Lump, lump, lump…

PF: Perhaps we could harnesses on you and Roy, Blobby.  Moustachia too…

Roy: Get real, monocle boy.

Land Lump: And the rain!  It burns!  Pollution!  Chemicals!  *Cough!  Cough!*

PF: Oh, give me a BREAK.


PF: OKAY! Enough.  If we help you clean up all this garbage will you help us get home?

Land Lump: Why… yes, my child.  The Little Lumps, they are so stressed out by this invasion of their habitat, they could not even begin to clean up any of it.

Little Lumps: Lump, lump, lump…

PF: *Stress…*

Current Mood: Begrudging.
Discoveries Made: Lumps am stoopid...

Hereinto referenced: ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤

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Blobby Log Day 143

As written by Professor Fliggins in Chapter 10: Lumplands > Vol. 1

Timestamp: Morning; Day 143
Weather: Preachy.
Landscape: Super Lumpy.


Well, it has been SO LOVELY meeting you, Mr. Lump and chatting about… um… the environment and all…

Land Lump: Likewise, my child.

PF: Yes…

Land Lump: I am of the environment…

PF: Yes! We REALLY must be going though – we have, you know, AN ENTIRE ISLAND TO SAVE FROM EVIL and all…

Land Lump: Of course…

PF: Allllll right, let us…

Flying Devil #1: Heys! What’s thems?

Roy: Flying Devils!

PF: Eeep!

Blobby: We’re doomed!

Land Lump: Quickly, children – place these little Lumps on your heads.

PF: Huh?

Land Lump: The flying red anger will think you are just part of the Lumplands. Hurry!

PF: Very well… come here, you!

My Life Has Meaning!Little Lump: Tee hee! My life has meaning now!

PF: Ugh…

Flying Devil #1: Heys! What’s is goin’s on heres?

PF: (in a high-pitched, Lumpy voice) Oh, nothing at all, good sir! Just Lumping around!

Blobby: Yep! Lumpity doo da!

Roy: Mmmhmm!

Moustachia: We’w weawwy wumpy!

Flying Devil #1: Hmms… I don’ts knows…

Flying Devil #2: Hey, everyones knows that Lumps can’ts lie!

PF: (squeaky still) YES! We are allergic to fibbery!

Flying Devil #1: Okays, but we’s gonna stays patrolin’ the skies here…

Flying Devil #2: Yeahs – if somethin’ funny happens, yous is meat-dead-like!

PF: (so shrill, so shrill) Of course! We will resume our Lumping! Lump, lump, lump, lump… Eh, chums?

Blobby, Roy & Moustachia: Lump, lump, lump…

Flying Devil #1: What a bunch a maroons!

PF: Great. Now we cannot fly away. This is great… Super radical great…

Tattle Lump: Land Lump, the countryside! Look!

Land Lump: What is that, my little… OH MY SWEET GOODNESS NO!

PF: Whassat?

Land Lump: Look at all this LITTER! On my hilly Lumps! Oh no… oh goodness…

Roy: Hey, PF – isn’t that the garbage we dumped to lighten the Dirigible?

PF: Shh!


PF: Hmm… Yes… a real bum out, to be sure. I wish that we could stay and help, but we really must figure out how to leave… without flying… or removing these squishy camouflage Lumps from our noggins… Ugh…

Land Lump: AHHHH!

Current Mood: Confuzzled. That is right. I am confuzzled to the maximum.
Discoveries Made: The texture of the underside of a Lump.

Hereinto referenced: ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤