The Chronicles of Professor Fliggins logo

Blobby Log Owners Manual

Tagged: Roy
Bookmark and Share

Blobby Log Day 97

As written by Professor Fliggins in Chapter 6: Isle of Detached Shawnimals > Vol. 1

Timestamp: Afternoon; Day 97
Weather: Accepting!
Landscape: Familiarish!


Bingo Clem: …basically, the Isle of Detached Shawnimals is just that – a place where the detached can convene.  We welcome all those misfits who no longer fit in.  I’ve noticed you all staring at my head.

PF, Blobby, Roy, & Moustachia: NO!

PF: It is impolite to stare – no matter how freaky one’s head growths appear to be!

Bingo Clem: It’s okay!  Everything about this place and everything about me is detached and happier to be here reformed!  For instance, this black nub jutting out of my forehead – this used to be the arm of a Ninja who worked way too hard, constantly running data analyses and focus groups, his little arm got so tired of busy consultant work that it decided to pop off and run away here – or so I’ve been told.  Sometimes, the detached decide to become fully aware and alive – like my claw body.  Other times, the detached pieces just like to come here and live a relaxing and worry-free life.  That’s what the lizard tail and this Ninja nub have done and I think I look quite fetching as a result!

Roy: Sure you are!

Blobby: This is pretty interesting, Mr. Clem.  But, what do you mean when you say “everything” here is detached?

Bingo Clem: Well, for instance, this shack is made from the bark of Dark Forest trees that came here to no longer be evil – we get all of our wood this way.  And you’re familiar with Freckle Beach and Face-water River – the sand of Freckle Beach is actually the freckles of hundreds of creatures from around the world, the Face-water River are tears and spit, both frequently unappreciated, discarded parts of heads.  We put so much shame in freckles and tears, we hide them under make-ups and in hankies.  Here they don’t have to be ashamed for merely existing.  Here they are welcome and free.  This place, you’ll soon see, is an oasis of unique and delightfully peculiar beauty.

Blobby: Crazy.  Really, this is fascinating and all, but why are you keeping us here and telling us this?

Bingo Clem: It’s my job to welcome all the newly arrived immigrants of disillusionment!  You detached fellows no longer need to feel alone again!

PF: What a homecoming!  I DID feel so alone back on the old Professor Island!  This new Professor Island of the Detached should be a wonderful place to retire FOREVER!

Blobby: PF, stop, you’re confusing everyone.  This isn’t Professor Island.

PF: Rutabagas!

Blobby: Ugh.  Mr. Clem, our comrade here isn’t well, he’s recently been under the spell of Dark Syrup so he thinks he’s home…

PF: I am home!

Bingo Clem:
I think he may be home too, tiny friendship.  Our borders only open up for the detached.  Even though Mr. Fliggins is a little dazed, he seems to be a misfit, just like us, and I believe you all will fit in nicely here… for the rest of time!

Moustachia: Wuh-woh.

Roy: But we’re all pretty whole, except for flying ‘stachia over here…

Bingo Clem: Perhaps you think that you’re whole, but there’s a piece of all of your soul-parts that’s detached from something.  Perhaps you’re detached from your old home, perhaps you’re detached from your old self and mistakes.  Perhaps you belong here now.  AND THUS CONCLUDES ISLE ORIENTATION.  Let us proceed to happiness eternal!  Come with me.

PF: Smashing!

Roy: Wait!

Blobby: Guys, if we don’t snap PF out of it, we’ll never get back to Professor Island to save it from Mr. Demon!

Current Mood: Heroic.
Discoveries Made: The beginning of everlasting peace.

Hereinto referenced: ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤

Bookmark and Share

Blobby Log Day 96

As written by Professor Fliggins in Chapter 6: Isle of Detached Shawnimals > Vol. 1

Timestamp: Mid-Afternoon; Day 96.
Weather: Delightfully sunny!
Landscape: Sandy, if not freckly.


Bingo Clem: Detached Island protocol is such that you all have to stay here in the halfway house until you’ve been properly oriented to our customs.

Blobby: Why is this called the Halfway House?

Bingo Clem:
Because it’s halfway between the beach and the village!

Roy: That makes TOO much sense.

Bingo Clem:
We can’t help but make sense here on the Isle of Detached Shawnimals.

Blobby: What exactly is this place?

PF: It is Professor Island, you nit-filled-wit!

Blobby: No, he just said this is the Isle of Detach…

PF: Horse feathers!  This is most certainly Professor Island – this hut is nestled on the Smartsy Dunes, just out that window is Monocle Chain River, which leads to the cool waters of Lake Monocle – whose shady banks I lounged upon when I first was becoming a disciplined student of Discovery.

Bingo Clem: Well, no disrespect, friendo, but we’re on the Freckle Beach, that’s the Face-water River, and I don’t think we have much-o-that discipline here…

PF: Poppycock, deformed Professor Clem!

Bingo Clem: No matter – once you are settled, I shall take you to the High Chancellor itself, then you’ll know exactly who and where we are!  We are detached, to be sure!

PF: Professor High Chancellor!  Sounds like a proper welcoming emissary for a Discoverizing HERO such as myself!

Bingo Clem: You will be welcomed, all right!  Let me make sure your bed-quarters are done up…

PF: Superb!  I shall accompany you to supervise and give orders toward my preferences of comfort.

Bingo Clem: Well, all right…

Blobby: Hmm. PF is acting strange…

Moustachia: What ewse is new?

Roy: No, but he’s bein’ extra weird.  I don’t think he’s fully recovered from the Dark Syrup.

Blobby: I guess we’ll see what happens when we meet this High Chancellor guy.

Current Mood: Happy to be home!
Discoveries Made: A bizarro Professor Island

Hereinto referenced: ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤

Bookmark and Share

Blobby Log Day 92

As written by Professor Fliggins in Chapter 5: Ninjatown > Vol. 1

Timestamp: Late Morning; Day 92
Weather: Like the first time I have ever felt the sun!
Landscape: The soon-to-be shrinking huts of Ninjatown.


I am sorry to be running off, Old Master Ninja Man, but if Mr. Demon is going after my beloved home, I must hurry to stop him!

Ol’ Master Ninja: I understand the need to protect one’s home, but you should rest more too.  I don’t think you’re totally healed… mentally.

PF: I will try to rest on the dirigible ride back to sweet Professor Island!  Do you have any tips on how I can continue my meditation?

Ol’ Master Ninja: Well, it seems that all lands have a Mr. Demon of sorts, and you need to make sure you deal with the Mr. Demon inside your fears before you can deal with the Mr. Demon inside your island.  Does that make sense?

PF: Sort of!  But, where is my inner Mr. Demon?  And, for that matter, where is my island?

Ol’ Master Ninja: Well, you had a lot of evil built up in your right elbow.  That is actually how we were able to save you – by focusing the friendship attacks on your evil right elbow.  Consequently, your elbow patch is a little scuffed up. Sorry.

PF: S’alright…

Ol’ Master Ninja: You also mentioned something about the world being like a moving body.  Therefore, if your body is a world, then your right elbow is the Northwest – maybe that’s where Professor Island is!

PF: That does not seem like very sound logic, but it is all I have!  Hurry up, friends – we must fly to the Northwest – the right elbow of the universe!

Blobby: Wasn’t PF talking about his right knee?

PF: Goodbye, Old Master Ninja – your assistance in my life will be measured favorably in the books of History!

Ol’ Master Ninja: No problem!  Just keep up the meditations!

PF: Sure sure!

Roy: Goodbye, Ms. Pink Ninja!  Thank you for saving us!

Pink Ninja: Anytime, sugar beet!

Blobby: Bye, Ninja Consultant!  Thank you for your brave analytics!

Ninja Consultant: Bye now!  I’ll have to sit you all down for your exit interview another day!

Moustachia: Awevadehwchee!

PF: Away!  Mush!  Away!

Current Mood: Ready to go home.
Discoveries Made: The limits of Adventuring!

Hereinto referenced: ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤

Bookmark and Share

Blobby Log Day 91

As written by Blobby in Chapter 5: Ninjatown > Vol. 1

Timestamp: Morning; Day 91
Weather: Ouchy on my face.
Landscape: A bed?


Blobby: Unh… My face feels like it was passed through the gears of the Professor Island Clocktower…

Roy: You and me both, sister.

PF: Well do not sit there feeling sorry for yourselves, boys – we have Discoveries to Discover!

Blobby: Oh, hey, PF.

Roy: Hey…

PF: Blobby, Roy – when I say something consciously and in character like that, you are supposed to exclaim an exclamation, then run to me for triumphant embraces!

Blobby: Sorry, PF – my face hurts too much…  from the evil purge…

PF: Well, I feel like I deserve triumphant embraces!

Moustachia: MAMA!

PF: *Ooof!* Hello, little Moustachia.  Did you miss your mama?

Moustachia: Oh, TEWIBWY!

PF: Mama missed you too, tiny one.  Your affection levels are QUITE appropriate for the occasion.

Blobby: Ugh.

Ol’ Master Ninja: Ah, good to see you up and moving all!  Welcome back from the brink of darkness!

PF: Thank you, Old Master!

Detox...Ol’ Master Ninja: Now, Professor, because you and Roy here have been extra-infected with the evil Dark Syrup, we are going to have to have you practice all kinds of joyful meditation, to give the last bits of menace the ol’ heave-ho!

PF: Of course!  I certainly still feel a little evil – especially toward my ungrateful compatriots here.

Blobby: What the…

Roy: It’s not worth it, man.

Ol’ Master Ninja: Well, get some rest.  I shall check on you again shortly.

PF: Word up, son!

Blobby: *Sigh…*

Current Mood: Okay, Blobby, I shall resume my Professorial duties reporting in this portion of the log. You have done valiantly while I was under the spell of the Dark Syrup. Thank you, dear friend.
Discoveries Made: The evil depths of my soul!

Hereinto referenced: ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤

Bookmark and Share

Blobby Log Day 90

As written by Blobby in Chapter 5: Ninjatown > Vol. 1

Timestamp: Morning; Day 90
Weather: Not horrifying.
Landscape: Ol' Master Ninja's dojo.


Ol’ Master Ninja: Okay, little ones.  We’re going to get started right away.  This is probably going to be pretty scary.

Like how scary?

Roy: Like terror is a beast and he has you in his jaws, and he’s just shaking and shaking you, side to side, forever and ever and you wish he’d just eat you and get it all done with but he won’t, he just wants to shake you in his mouth forever.

Blobby: Oh.  I would like to leave now.

Ol’ Master Ninja: It’s just a little sheer terror!

Are these Medieval face harnesses really necessary?

Ninja Consultant: Hold still!

Blobby: *CRUNCH*

Ninja Consultant:
OW!  Ol’ Master, he bit me!  On my only arm!

Blobby: Sorry, it must have been my very deep-rooted survival instinct.

Ol’ Master Ninja: Okay, all ready?

Blobby & Roy:

Ol’ Master Ninja:
Pink Ninja, hand me the Syrup.

Pink Ninja: Yes, Sensei.

Blobby: Be cool, man!  Just be cool!

Ol’ Master Ninja: You’ll only be under for a little bit, we just need to link your minds up with Professor Fliggins long enough to find where his main sources of evil are residing.  Then we’ll work to revive you right away.  Here we go…

*B l ooooo p!* *B l oooooi p!*

Blobby: Hey, this isn’t so bad.

Roy: Hmm, yeah.

Blobby: Well, what else you got Ol’ Master Higgaba?  Higgaba!  Bliggit!  BLAGGAM.      BLOOGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA…                 BLOOGBLOOGBLLOGAGAGA!      It’sOKAYgigigibuhbuhbuh…..          0000000000i0i0i.       BRERNP   brern   brern pingpingPINGDING      ding d.i….n.g.    shmashy.  WHERE IS THE ISLAND? >>>><<<<>>>><<<< duhduhduhduhbuhlamlamlam WHERE IS THE EYEDuhduhduh *******                  grapgrapgrapipipi.                     WHERE IS THE ISLAND HE DOESN’T KNOW WHERE IS THE ISLAND ——- in in in ——– xixixixi.iixo.i. ——— 777yyy777 THE ISLAND? our-islands-are-mobile-body-continents, our-bodies-are-mobile-island-land-lands, our-bodies-are-mobile-away-from-the-island-land, our bodies, STUBBLER, our bodies, DEMON, STUBBLER, inside our islands, our knee caps, our polar knee caps, right knee caps, our bodies are knee caps our right polar knee caps, the islands are right mobile knee caps THEANTIDOTETHEANTIDOTE.                     grebgebgrebgeb.




Powp.  Powwwwwwwwww-pssshhhhhhahhhhhh…

*CLUNK thud*

Current Mood: ...
Discoveries Made: ...

Hereinto referenced: ¤ ¤ ¤