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Blobby Log Day 158

As written by Professor Fliggins in Chapter 12: Professor Island > Vol. 1

Timestamp: Dawn; Day 158
Weather: Calm, as if before something...
Landscape: Devil and Zombie ruined shores of Foodlandia.


Mom: Bring those Gravy Boats around!  Now!

PF: I cannot believe how many Devils flew over the Jello Mold Bunkers.  Professor Island is doo…

Mom: Don’t you start dooming now!  We are going to do our best.  And maybe your friends will come.  I mean, we sent a message to a pair of Vampire Pants!  Truly a powerful ally!

PF: Yes…

Distressed Jug of Milk: Ahhh!  Hurricane Cy is back!


Foodlandians: Ahhhh!  Help!  Not again!

Cy of the Storm: Hey, guys!  What’s up over here?

Mom: Stay away, Cy!  Your havoc-wreaking isn’t wanted back here!

Hobo Sandwich: Yeah!  You blew away our house!

Cy of the Storm: Aw, come on!  I just wanna chillax!  What are you doing, some kind of war?

Mom: Yes.  Please let us get back to preparing the war ships.

Cy of the Storm: Ooooh, Gravy Boats!  Tasty!

Moustachia: Hewe’s the Diwigibew, Mama!

Mom: Please, call me “Mom.”

PF: Oh, I am sorry, she was talking to me.  Thank you, Moustachia.  Have the Freckles prepare the Wicker Basket for sea travel.  Those poor innocent Professors back home will be so interested in Discovering, Mr. Demon will surely conquer them all almost immediately!

Moustachia: Wight!

PF: Even the smartest Professors will probably just want to engage in meaningful dialogue or something…

Hobo Sandwich: Wait a second!  What’s this “Wicker Basket” nonsense!  That’s not a boat or an airship or a tank… that’s…  that’s OUR HOUSE!

Hobo Napkin: What the…  You BIG JERK!

Hobo Sandwich: Let me look at it…  Aw, crap, look at this place!

PF: There is probably just a mistake, I Discovered this basket myself!

Hobo Sandwich: Look, you dummy, this is our HOME.  It even has a picture of us on the bedroom wall.  You’ve been flying around the universe in our house!

Hobo Napkin: Just getting your grubby little nubbins all over our doilies and making it stink like BEAN FARTS.  This is a travesty…

PF: No, this is my basket.  It was my first real Discovery!  I am very proud of that!  It washed up onto the shores of Professor Island, I made it into a Gingerfizz powered Kerchief Dirigible, and I flew it off of Professor Island to have all manner of wacky, but endearing ADVENTURES.

Cy of the Storm: That’s when you met me!  When you were leaving Professor Island!

Hobo Sandwich: Of course you two are friends.  You hang out at the Monster’s Ball, I’m sure.

Cy of the Storm: Hey, I’m not a Monster!  I’m just bein’ me!

Hobo Napkin: The whole planet is BONKERS.  You big storm, you stole our house and gave it to this lard tub!  You ruined OUR LIVES!

Cy of the Storm: What?  I… I did?  I just want to meet people and be me an’ stuff.  I don’t want to hurt anyone.  Buh… Buh-huh… BAHHHHH!  AH—AH—AHHHH!


Mom: Oh, no, he’s crying.  He’ll drown us all.  Please someone make the horrible storm happy again!

PF: Hey, Cy.  It is okay.  It is okay.  Hush now.

Cy of the Storm: BWAHHH!  I’M A MONSTER!

PF: No, honey, no.  You are not a monster.

Hobo Napkin: Yeah, you’re worse!

PF: NO!  No.  Cy, you are a nice fellow.  Perhaps the nicest weather pattern with which I have ever conversed.

Cy of the Storm: *sniff* You’re jus’ sayin’ that because you don’t wanna drown…

PF: No no!  I mean it!  I am sincere.  You are definitely the kindest collection of fury and moisture I have ever, ever talked to.  I guarantee.

Cy of the Storm: Really?  But I ruined everything.  Those nice folks are homeless because of me.

PF: I know, I know.  Look, you could maybe redeem yourself.  You want to redeem yourself?

Cy of the Storm: *guh, snort* Uh-huh…

PF: Well, listen, do you remember how you carried me very far from home and dumped me in the Hot Dog Kingdom?

Cy of the Storm: Yeah…

PF: Well, we all need to be taken back to Professor Island so we can beat Mr. Demon there.  Can you carry us home?

Cy of the Storm: Yeah!  Yeah, I can do that!  EASY!

Hobo Sandwich: What about us?  I can’t sleep another night in that brown paper sack!

Mom: Citizen, I promise you that if we are able to defeat evil from the world, when we return, you will not only have a new home, but I shall give you a cushy government job here in Supermarket City.  And I am making this pledge in front of Foodlandia news reporters, so you know I mean it!

Hobo Lunch Bunch: Hooray!



Cy of the Storm: Okay, here you all are, Professor Island!  Now I’m gonna try and slow down that Mr. Demon we passed on the way in!  See you soon!

PF: Bye, Cy!


Who knew the worst natural disaster in my country’s history was such a chill dude.

Professor Starney: *Bluster noises* What is happening?  What is all this NEWNESS?

Professor Glappletrap: So.  Much.  Discovery.

Professor Haggledorn: Anthropomorphic Food Stuffs!  I coined the terminology first!  Discovery!

Professor Starney: Hovering Feminine Adolescent Facial Hair!  Discovery!

Professor Glappletrap: I am going to count the new wrinkles on Fliggins’ face!  Discovery!  Discovery!  Discovery!

Professors: Discovery!  Get the tags!  Hold down that giant fish stick!

PF: WAIT!  FRIENDS!  PLEASE.  Please.  We are in mortal danger!  Turn the Discoverist in you off momentarily.

Professor Professor: What is happening?

Professors: Professor Professor!

Professor Professor: Frederick, what are you doing here?  We thought you had been eaten by a Sandworm!

PF: Professor Professor, Sir!  These are my new friends, Mom and the Foodlandians.

Roy: Sounds like a sweet band…

PF: And they are here to help us because a very angry and evil fellow named Mr. Demon is on his way here to enslave all of Professor Island and exploit the valuable knowledge of the Universe amassed in our hallowed institutions!

Professor Professor: Zounds!  Professors, stop Discover-mouth-foaming!

Mom: Sir, my soldiers can help you prepare a defense if your Professors will promise not to tranquilize and tag them.

Professor Professor: You heard the somewhat… womanly-shaped… food… thingie? Professors UNITE!

Mom: Come with me, there isn’t much time.

PF: Oh goodness, so much excitement!

Most Best Professor!Professor Professor: Frederick, I am in shock.  We thought you had been lost.

PF: I was lost, Sir.  I was lost here and I had to go away.  But now I am home.  I claim this place as home and will defend it for a forever!

Professor Professor: Frederick, you have apparently matured a great deal in your studies abroad.  You seem almost the opposite of the maladjusted, uncoordinated, unpopular recluse you used to be.

PF: You know, in the face of so much daily exasperation and tribulation, I HAD to adapt or else perish.

Professor Professor: I do believe you have made a Discovery more vital than any Museum or Textbook could ever house.  By Discovering yourself, my young Professor, you have perhaps set us ALL free.  When you live on an Island such as ours, time only breeds deeper and deeper myopia.

PF: I thank you, Sir, and I surely do appreciate the attention and esteem BUT if we do not prepare for the invasion, the only thing we shall Discover is DESTRUCTION!

Professor Professor: INDEED!  Thank you for shaking our dust, Frederick.

PF: You are welcome… Most welcome.  Discovery.


Current Mood: Alive.
Discoveries Made: Me.

Hereinto referenced: ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤