I have been trudging through this hairy storm for a time.  A time unknown.  Perhaps it has been 20 minutes.  Perhaps a year.  Perhaps I have always been walking through a constant sea of swirling brown threads.  I am maybe a fish-Professor now, I am maybe swimming in a storm and this is now maybe my new life.  This is well beyond disgusting.  This is around the corner from disgusting, I believe my soul has thrown up one million times.

To protect my eyes I am wearing Professor Island standard issue Bi-Monocles.   I have heard others call these Goggles.  Goggles?  That word seems made up.  I must check the searching-steam-engine-powered Encyclopedia on that when I get home.  Home?  Goggle?  Encyclopedia?  I do not know if anything exists or has ever existed anymore or before.

I cannot see anything.  The Bi-Monocles do not add sight to the whirling, they merely protect my eyes from flying hair colliding with them, burrowing into them, and growing into little moustaches.  Little eye moustaches.  Should I lose my Mind, I shall invite the eye moustaches into my life fully.  Perhaps the eye moustaches will steal my sight but grant me the ability to fly.  Flying eye moustaches.  Perhaps my regular moustache is where I draw my own aeronautical tendencies from.  Moustaches are the key to the Heavens.  Heavens.

Though I cannot see, and have been walking in this hairstorm for a Forever, I swear there is a formed shadow in front of me.  If I had not already accepted my Bonkers status, I could tell you that I SEE something here, a shadow, a something.  A figure?  A figure!  Hey!  HEY!  FIGURE!  HEY-LO!!!  HEEEYYYYYY!!!

?: ?

PF: HEYYYY!  The hair storm has stopped!

?: Who is that?

PF: I am Professor Frederick Fliggins, I am Bonkers!  Bonkers from hair snow!  What manner of Beard-Creature are you?

?: M’ name’s Tarvis Whiskerton, and I’m one of the Royal Barbers here in Moustachio Territory.

PF:  Tarvis?  Whiskerton?  Royal?  Barber?

Whiskerton: Yep!

PF:  And you, kindly Whiskerton Barber beast, are absolutely certain you are not merely a vision induced by the millions of needle hairs lodged into my brain during my journey through the dastardly hairstorm?

Whiskerton: Umm… I think so…?

PF: Sweet mercy – DISCOVERY!

Current Mood: From Bonkers to Zonkers!
Discoveries Made: A Royal Barber!!!

Hereinto referenced: Hairstorm ¤ Moustachio Territory ¤ Royal Barber