Professor Stubbler is becoming increasingly dissatisfied with the quality of my analytical writing. He told me (in front of EVERYBODY) that the last essay I turned in nearly choked him to death from the length of its run-on sentences. He could not even finish eating it and he gave me an F! An F!
F!
He said if I do not start handing him digestible arguments soon, he will fail me and charge my student account for his medical treatment! Because my essays give him food poisoning! An F! Food poisoning! Gah!