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Blobby Log Owners Manual

Tagged: Stealth Kicky
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Blobby Log Day 120

As written by Professor Fliggins in Chapter 8: Kicky Village > Vol. 1

Timestamp: Morning; Day 120
Weather: You can cut the stench with elementary school scissors!
Landscape: Once again, the Kicky Beach.

NOTES:

*Hargh* Here it is.  Here he is.

Blubba: …and then once, in the fourth grade, I ate all the paste… OF A THOUSAND PASTE TANKERS…

Roy: Now that’s what I call a sticky situ…

Big Kicky: Thank the almighty Soccer Gods you’re here!  Have you got the Hydration Station?

Head Kicky: Yes.  But we had no idea…

Blobby: You can’t clean the stink of his words out of the air.

Head Kicky: Well – start showering the beast!

Kickies: Aye-aye!

PF: You know, gents, I think we should just ask Kane, the lone Stealth Kicky for help…

Kickies: GASP!

*record screeching to a stop*

PF: I did not realize a record was even playing…

Big Kicky: You’ve talked to Kane!

PF: Yes, indeed.  He has a minor breaking and entering problem, but once the proper friendship boundaries are established, I believe he shall make a good friend.  Odd, but good!

Head Kicky: Charlie, you set up a base camp with team Cranapple – Gorgex, you assemble the Hydration Station with team Snickerdoodle – you, monocle boy, come with me!

PF: So assertive!

Blubba: …Oh you think I couldn’t fit that much rotting compost inside me, but I got enough in there for years of gardening!  Years!  YEARS!!!

Fig 10 Whale Hydration Station

Current Mood: The Kickies kick okay, but Blubba has been kicking the peaches out of my olfactory senses.
Discoveries Made: And they are simultaneously organized and adorable! I want to hug them whenever they say assertive things! So cuddly!

Hereinto referenced: ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤

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Blobby Log Day 119 (part one)

As written by Professor Fliggins in Chapter 8: Kicky Village > Vol. 1

Timestamp: Morning; Day 119
Weather: Pungent.
Landscape: There is a sign above the bed that reads, "Pardon me, but I Kick in my sleep!"

NOTES:

*yawn* Did everybody sleep well?

Moustachia: Uh-huh.

Roy: Yeah.  But I had awful smelling dreams…

PF: Good gracious!  You can see the smell!  How will the Kickies be able to disperse this bilious green cloud?

Kane, the lone Stealth Kicky: They cannot.

Everyone: Ahhhhh!

PF: Oh.  It is you, Kane.  I see we have jumped ahead to the sneaking-into-your-bed-and-breakfast-room stage of this friendship.

Kane: Yes.

PF: You scared the heck out of us.

Kane: Yes.

PF: We are without heck now…  From the fear…

Kane: Yes…

PF: …

Kane: …

PF: Well, why are you here?

Kane: The other Kickies, they cannot get rid of the bloated one.  They can only shower it, keeping its stink alive.

PF: How do you know they cannot get rid of Blubba?

Kane: For I am the only Kicky strong enough to do it.

*Ding-ding-ding*

Bed and Breakfast Kicky: Breakfast is served!

*BAMF*

B and B Kicky: Sorry it isn’t pretty-lookin’ – *cough* – I couldn’t cook too well through the noxious fumes and my own stink-induced tears.

PF: That is okay, although I hope you brought extra for my new mysterious friend here…

B and B Kicky: What friend?  You gone loony?

PF: Why, he is gone!  What a mysterio!

Messenger Kicky: Monocled one, the Kicky Water Dispersal Committee is ready for you now.

PF: Splendid.  I do not have an appetite for this breakfast anyhow.

B and B Kicky: No appetites!  I’ll be ruined!

Current Mood: Queasy!
Discoveries Made: These Kickies are so organized!

Hereinto referenced: ¤ ¤ ¤

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Blobby Log Day 116

As written by Professor Fliggins in Chapter 8: Kicky Village > Vol. 1

Timestamp: Early Morning; Day 116
Weather: Hmm... Smelly?
Landscape: Rocky. Good for cross-training.

NOTES:

Blubba: …now, Death Monologue Sub-Monologue Number Eighty-Two:  My medium-sized regrets.  Medium-sized regret number one: I never entered a pie-eating contest…

Blobby: grrr…

PF: So as you can see, Mr. Kane sir, this mouthy monstrosity has collided with your shore and needs to somehow be returned to the sea.

Kane: Why do you want to help it?

PF: Well… because creatures need assistance sometimes…

Roy: And he knows where Professor Island is!

PF: Yes.  He knows – somewhere in the libraries of his noodle – the location of our home…

Kane: I do not know…

PF: You do not know HOW to help, or if you WANT to help?

Kane: Either.  Both.  I do not know.

PF: Remarkable.  Well perhaps you could – HEY, where did he go?

?: What’s that smell?

PF: Oh, hello.  I promise that I did not deal that smell…  Nor am I accusing you, gaggle of armless chaps, that YOU have dealt that smell!  How illogical is it that one who smelts shall also be the one who dealts.  Deals.  Um.  Hello.

?: Hey.  Seriously, what’s that smell?

PF: Well, I do believe it is the giant orating beached whale that is currently baking in the sun behind me.

Blubba: …of course I regret all that garlic I ate last night…

?: Good gracious!  A beached whale!

PF: Yes, that.  That is whom dealt it.

Kicky: C’mon, Kickies, let’s start dousing this thing with water so it doesn’t dehydrate.

PF: So the denizens here are called Kickies.  Note that, Blobby.

Big Kicky: How are we gonna get this thing back in the ocean?  He’s gigantic!

Blubba: …I regret not working off all the decades of holiday pounds…

Big Kicky: Ungh… He won’t budge!

Original Kicky: Well start getting the buckets, maybe it’ll help take the edge off this stink…

Kickies: Yeah!

PF: Well THESE red Kickies are helpful.  I wonder what was the deal with that hooded gray Kicky…

Current Mood: Confuzzled.
Discoveries Made: "Kickies" is the plural of "Kicky." I have Discovered plural Kicky.

Hereinto referenced: ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤

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Blobby Log Day 115

As written by Professor Fliggins in Chapter 8: Kicky Village > Vol. 1

Timestamp: Afternoon; Day 115
Weather: UGH.
Landscape: No land in...

NOTES:

Blubba: …the snerls, with their hundreds of Kings, the sea-spiders knitting water garments from denser liquid-silk, the little baby scrumps riding along the current on their little toy hobby-sea-horses.  Yes.  That is all of them, all the creatures that inhabited the one hundred nautical miles in a sphere around my original home.  Now, at long last, a thorough description of my very birth…

B R R R R E E e e e E E R R C H H H G H H!!!

PF: What has happened?

Roy: We hit land!

Blubba: Oh dear – I’m beached!

PF: NO!  He was just about to start his life!

Blubba: And now I am about to start my death!  Beached!  Alas, I am beached!

PF: Um.  Well, so, surely, sir, SURELY we can help you eventually and in the interim, you can continue with your tale?

Blubba: Alas!  I cannot!  Beached!  Like my poor Uncle Toby!

PF: We shall hydrate you, you just need to get to the location of Professor Island!

Blubba: Beached!  Beached!

Blobby: That tears it!  I have been typing my little blobules like CRAZY for ten stupid days STRAIGHT, recording every inane part of your MEANINGLESS AND MEANDERING NONSENSE STORY, you you you CHUB BRAIN, you blabber honky, you terseless arrogant terrorist of brevity!  *huff huff fume huff*

Blubba: Are you through?

Blobby: Yes.

Blubba: Good – BEACHED!

Blobby: Gerp!

PF: Do not attempt to strangle this huge neckless beast with your tiny tired hands, Blobby.  He is not worth it.

Blubba: I must now begin my death monologue, painstakingly prepared over many decades for this very happenstance.  *AHEM*

Blobby: Gerp…

DISCOVERY!PF: Yes.  Let us away from Blubba, before Blobby explodes.  Come friends, we walk to find help.

?: Help.  Everyone needs help.

PF: YES.  Um, who are you?  Can you help?

?: I do not know.  Can I?

PF: I do not know…  Can you?

?: Everyone needs help.

PF: Yes.  Yes you said that.  Who..?

Kane, the lone Stealth Kicky: My name is Kane.  I am the lone Stealth Kicky.

PF: I keep Discovering the oddest fellows…  Well, MAY you PLEASE help us?

Kane: Perhaps.

PF: Great.  DISCOVERY!!!

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Current Mood: Unsurprised.
Discoveries Made: Stealth Kicky!!!

Hereinto referenced: ¤ ¤ ¤