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Blobby Log Owners Manual

Tagged: Hobo Napkin
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Blobby Log Day 160

As written by Professor Fliggins in Chapter 12: Professor Island > Vol. 1

Timestamp: Afternoon; Day 160
Weather: Hungry!
Landscape: Getting messier...


*Battle Noises*

PF: Gracious, this ongoing struggle between good and evil is making me PECKISH! What is this? A sandwich laying here, just for me?

Hobo Sandwich: Oh no, not again! Don’t eat me, you idiot!

PF: Just a tiny bite for the road…

Hobo Sandwich: OWWWW! My head! My… say… what’s going on? Where am I?

PF: Oh sticks of fiddling, I have bitten Mr. Sandwich again. Are you okay, sir?

Hobo Sandwich: I’m fine. Just fine. In fact, I feel pretty nice. I’d say, everything’s ALLLL RIGHT!

PF: I am so very sorry to have eaten part of your head again, Mr. Sandwich – you are very tasty and…

Hobo Sandwich: No, it’s fine. Totally cool. These things happen. We’re still cool though, right? My man? My maaaaaaain man!

PF: Hmmmm….

Hobo Sandwich: Professor Fliggins, my main dude! You and me, brother man, we’re gonna be groovy forever!

PF: Now this is peculiar. This sandwich was just a minute ago one of the most bitter, unpleasant fellows I have ever met. Now this.

Hobo Napkin: I think you bit the part of his brain that makes him irritable…

Hobo Sandwich: Sky rockets in flight… afternoon delight! Aaaaaafternoon delight!

PF: Fascinating. He seems otherwise unharmed.

Hobo Napkin: Yeah… I think I like him better like this.

PF: I as well. Right then, back to the war!

Hobo Sandwich: Hey, anyone wanna hear my poetry?

Current Mood: Satisfied.
Discoveries Made: I could have been a surgeon!

Hereinto referenced: ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤

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Blobby Log Day 152

As written by Professor Fliggins in Chapter 11: Foodlandia > Vol. 1

Timestamp: Morning Rush Hour; Day 152
Weather: Sploosh-Kaboom!
Landscape: Blarsh! Warrrsssshhhooooom! Yeah!



Foodlandia Fish Stick Sentry: Look lively, boys!  These Devils are getting better at dodging the condiment cannons…


PF: Oh, how thrilling!

Hobo Sandwich: Yeah yeah, war is very exciting, just don’t get us blown up.  Now, go down there, by the Brussels sprout shrubs.

PF: Delicious!

Roy: Gross…

Hobo Sandwich: Then make a left toward the Salad Dressing Fountains…

Hobo Napkin: You’re not taking him past the Salad Dressing Fountains, are you?

Hobo Sandwich: Yes, Doreen, we go past the Fountains and up the Linguini Trellis – saves us seven minutes…

Hobo Napkin: At this time of day?  It’ll be packed!

Hobo Sandwich: Yeah, but there’s also A WAR GOING ON so I THINK sensible, non-lunatic Foodlandians are, you know, cowering in fear…

Hobo Napkin: Oh I’ll show YOU how to COWER.

Hobo Sandwich: I’d like to see you try!

PF: FRIENDS!  Please direct me through your countryside, otherwise when we are all decimated by the condiment cannons THEN we all get to be right.

Hobo Sandwich:

Hobo Napkin: Turn left here…

Current Mood: Glad I am not married.
Discoveries Made: The subjective nature of fastest routes to the Linguini Trellis.

Hereinto referenced: ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤

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Blobby Log Day 151

As written by Professor Fliggins in Chapter 11: Foodlandia > Vol. 1

Timestamp: Midnight; Day 151
Weather: Ketchup rains down like scripture.
Landscape: Like we are walking upon one giant meatloaf. I think we actually are...


I surely do apologize, sir – I did not mean to…

Hobo Sandwich: …To take a bite out of MY HEAD?  Of course you didn’t mean to, ya moron!

?: Earl, what’s going on out there?  What are you doing?

Hobo Sandwich: Nothing, honey, just stay in the sack.

?: I’m not going to stay inside the sack when it’s being picked up in the middle of the night and some giant nubbin reaches through our ceiling and picks you up and… OH MY GOD, EARL – YOUR HEAD!

Hobo Sandwich: Now don’t go makin’ a big stink, it’s just a bite…

Hobo Napkin: Just a bite?  Half your head is gone!

Hobo Sandwich: Go back in the sack, Doreen, I’m handling this…

Hobo Napkin: Oh, sure, then this monstrosity can reach in and blow his big nose into me…

PF: Big nose?

Hobo Napkin: Use what’s left of your head, Earl!  And here I thought you couldn’t get any dumber…

Hobo Sandwich: Will you pipe down!  I can’t hear myself think…

Hobo Napkin: Oh that’s odd, because I can hear you think just fine and it sounds to me like the Hunchback’s finally moved out of the bell-tower you were bad for his IMAGE!

PF: *snicker*

Hobo Napkin: What are you laughing at, ugly?

PF: Oh, please do not point your disdain at me, madame!

Hobo Napkin: Oh, I’m just warming up, you…

?: Wahhhh!

Hobo Napkin: Look what you two did, you woke up the kids!

PF: Your children are corn chips?

Hobo Napkin: Hey, you got no room to judge, you hang around with a pile of snot, flying facial hair, and a debilitated sea monster.

Blobby, Moustachia, & Roy: Hey!

Hobo Corn Chip Kid #1: Wahhh!  Mommy, the bad man broke me in half!

Hobo Napkin: Oh, good lord, let me look at you…  Well at least it was a clean break…

Hobo Corn Chip Kid #2: Is Francis going to the chip bag in the sky, Mommy?

Hobo Napkin: No, sweetheart – he’ll be fine after we get some nacho powder to bind his wounds…

Hobo Corn Chip Kid #1: I don’t wanna go to the sky bag, Mommy!

Hobo Napkin: Do you see what you’ve done?  How am I gonna afford nacho binding powder in THIS economy?  We’re not even insured…

PF: I am terribly sorry, I…

Hobo Napkin: Pa-tooey! I spit on your sorries!  Tooey pa-tooey!

PF: Spitting napkins?! I would like to make it up to you.  How may I acquire the necessary items to mend your family?

Hobo Sandwich: We can only get those inside the walls of Supermarket City over there, and there seems to be a war going on, so the gate’s closed…

PF: Well, I need to get in as it is the last obstacle between me and my home…

Hobo Napkin: You know what was the obstacle between my home and you?  A thin wall of brown paper!  Now get out of here already while we figure out whose turn it is to sleep in the cellophane sleeping bag tonight.

Hobo Sandwich: Now settle down, Doreen.  Maybe this tubby guy can carry us through the secret path  into Supermarket City where we could finally talk to M-O-M.

Hobo Napkin: Hmmm…  Maybe…  He would just have to stop shattering the bodies of my children.

PF: Yes!  Show us the secret way and I will take you to this Mom…

Hobo Napkin: Oh wow, he can spell!

Hobo Sandwich: All right, let’s go then.

Blobby: I wonder if there are marriage counselors in Supermarket City…

Hobo Napkin: I heard that!  Mind your business, snot pile!

PF: Very good – on to Supermarket City!

Current Mood: So close, so close, so close...
Discoveries Made: The unique family dynamic of the Hobo Lunch Bunch.

Hereinto referenced: ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤