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Blobby Log Owners Manual

Tagged: Hydration Station
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Blobby Log Day 121

As written by Professor Fliggins in Chapter 8: Kicky Village > Vol. 1

Timestamp: Morning; Day 121
Weather: Green.
Landscape: The rocky shores of hopeless odor.


…so  you mean to say that this Kane fellow is completely anti-social and he will not even attend Kicky Village birthday picnics?  This seems highly peculiar.

Head Kicky: Indeed.  That’s why it just doesn’t seem possible that he would open up to you like you say.  He is a very strong Kicker, but has turned his back on Kicky society.

PF: Perhaps…  You know, that extensive expositional backstory for Kane, the lone stealth Kicky, has taken all night, and yet the Hydration Station still has not abated the horrific whale stink that capitalizes the atmosphere.

Head Kicky: No.  I fear his body fumes may defeat us.

Big Kicky: Sir, I think Blubba’s poisonous secretions have run-off into the sea, putrefying that as well.  And since the ocean is our source for the Hydration Station, we’re basically pumping him with an endless toxic marinade.

PF: Terrifyingly vivid!


Head Kicky: What’s going on?

Kickies: It’s Kane!

Kane: Kicky Siblings!  I have overheard recently that you feel I have abandoned you!

PF: How did he hear that?

Kane: I was disguised!

PF: I told you that rock was breathing and listening!

Kane: I wish to prove to you that I am not a deserter!  O great stink machine – prepare yourself!

Blubba: Is he talking to m-OOOOOF!!!

Kickies: Ooooooooooh.

Roy: Holy smoke!

Blobby: Look at ‘im fly!

Blubba: How unceremonious!

*S P L O O O O O S H!*
Kickies: Hooray!

PF: Kane, you saved the day!  You Kicked that stench mound clear out to sea!

Kane: Yes.

Head Kicky: Why, you are the Kickiest Kicky who ever Kicked!

Kane: Yes.

Head Kicky: What took you so long?

Kane: I thought that everyone hated me because I looked different and like to stalk the shadows, as my Ninja upbringing has me wont to do.

Head Kicky: No no, we just thought you were a little different.

Big Kicky:
I want him for striker on my soccer team!

Kickies: No, me!  Me!  I want to be his best friend!

PF: Well well, looks like another story resolved thanks to the quick thinking of Professor Frederick Fliggins.

Moustachia: Mama, you didn’t do anything…

PF: Horsepucky!  I did so!

Blobby: Not really.  You just kinda walked around while stuff happened around you.

PF: WHATEVER.  Let us just hurry up and get the location of Professor Island finally.  Mr. Blubba!  Sir!  Over here!

Blubba: My bottom – it is made of bruise!

PF: Yes, naturally.  Anyway, are you prepared to get on with the story of you life you started nearly a month ago and tell us the location of Professor Island?

Blubba: I’d be happy to, but I’ve lost my place.  I shall start at the beginning!

Blobby: Nooooo!

Blubba: Oooof!

*S P L O O O O O S H!*

PF: Thank you, Kane.

Kane: He shall not pollute our shores again until he swims off that smell.

PF: Now we are stuck.  Where is my home!

Kane: Perhaps the Pants peoples of Pantsylvania know.

PF: Escuse me.

Kane: Kickies obviously cannot wear pants for we are mostly legs and would not only suffocate, but also lost critical knee flexibility – HOWEVER in my many quests about this vast continent, the only place I encountered creatures who look anything like you are the Pants, particularly the plaid ones, in Pantsylvania.

PF: Zounds!  That could be a lead!  Where is this place?

Kane: Due west – clear across the entire world!

PF: Right.  Well, gang, you ready?  Let us be off!

Blobby: If we must.

Kane: Farewell, friend.  May the winds carry you favorably to the zippered ones.

PF: Thank you, friend.  Congratulations on your reintroduction to society.  Into the dirigible, little ones!

Kickies: Goodbye, Fliggins!

PF: Toodle-loo, Kickity Kickers!  Bye bye, chatty smelly Blubba!  See you later, this hemisphere of the world!  I hope that I have left you better than when I entered you!

Blobby: Probably not.

Yes.  Bye!

The Western Hemisphere of Shawnimaland:
Goodbye, Professor Fliggins!

Current Mood: To Pants! To Pants!
Discoveries Made: The incredible Kicking power of Kane!

Hereinto referenced: ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤

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Blobby Log Day 119 (part two)

As written by Professor Fliggins in Chapter 8: Kicky Village > Vol. 1

Timestamp: Noon; Day 119
Weather: P.U.
Landscape: Quaint Li'l Kicky Village.


Head Kicky: The Hydration Station is assembled and, at your lead, ready to be taken to the mouth of this river of odors.

Roy: Hey, it’s a big fancy shower!

Head Kicky: Whale-sized.

Blobby: So you’re just gonna clean him?

Head Kicky: Yes.  Hopefully that will diminish the bite of his body flavors.

PF: But that will not fix the issue of an enormous orating cetacean atrophying on your shores.

Head Kicky: Well, we must stop the bleeding of this stinky wound – it’ll ruin our whole Kick-economy!

Blobby: Why?

Head Kicky: No one will want to buy lunch if everyone’s losing yesterday’s… lunch…

Allllll right.  Let us go band-aid up this axe-wound.  Follow me!

Head Kicky:
Kickies – TO THE BEACH!

Current Mood: In charge! I guess!
Discoveries Made: A new-found ability to go with the flowing!

Hereinto referenced: ¤ ¤ ¤

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Blobby Log Day 117

As written by Professor Fliggins in Chapter 8: Kicky Village > Vol. 1

Timestamp: Afternoon; Day 117
Weather: Several different kinds of pollution.
Landscape: The Kicky Beach.


Big Kicky: Okay, gang – the big whale is moister, let’s try and kick him out to sea.

Kickies: Aye-aye!

…and it was then that…  wait, did you say “kick?”

Big Kicky: 1…  2… 3… KICK!


Blubba: Ow ow ow ow ow OW OW ow ow OW ow!

PF: He is not moving…

Big Kicky: Kick harder, Kickies!  Kick for your ancestors!

Blubba: I am being tenderized!

Blobby: Even though they’re not kicking him into the ocean, this is still pretty gratifying for me.  Kick ‘em good!

Big Kicky: *HUFF* Okay, stop stop…  *huff huff* this guy weighs a TON!Photopainting 117

Blubba: Seventeen tons, to be exact about it…

Kickies: Boo!

PF: I think the extra pummeling you gave him released even more odour.

Kickies: Aw!  *gag-cough* No he didn’t!

Blubba: Do not blame me for your activating of my stink glands.

Big Kicky: Okay, let’s get back to dousing this monster in water.  You, monocle boy.

PF: I am a man…

Big Kicky: While we try and take care of this reeking Blubba thing, please take this note twelve miles East to Kicky Village – we need reinforcements!

Big Kicky: You must hurry like you are made of legs, sir – the sooner more Kickies come, the faster we can build a more suitable Hydration Station!

PF: Yes, I can handle this task.  For the sooner we get Blubba back to normal, the faster I can Discover the secret location of my home.  Everyone shall win!

Blubba: Anyway, back to my death monologue…  Underhanded apology number seventy-nine: I am sorry to all the buffet owners whose generous “all you can eat” dinners I have abused and which led to their inevitable bankruptcy…

Current Mood: Excited to be moving away from Blubba!
Discoveries Made: I have a task! Helpful Fliggins is me!

Hereinto referenced: ¤ ¤ ¤