Hurry, Prime Ministache – we must be FASTER than the wind!
Prime Ministache: I am flying as fast as I can!
PF: There they are! Descend! Descend!
Prime Ministache: You shall pluck the hairs from me! Calm your grip, sir!
PF: I AM SO EXCITED! Look at everyone assembled; these Beans must ONLY have public events! Let us land behind that Bean Vendor Tent so that we may try and get close to the Mayor. Yes, very good. You, Bean, what is going on here?
Random Bean: This is the annual Wrestling Match between the Hot Dog King and our Bean Village Mayor – DUH. Now leave me alone, ya mutant – they’re smack talking!
Hot Dog King: We’re evenly tied, Mayor – exactly 1,734 to 1,734 matches won apiece. Today’s bout will decide the juju of our lands for the next 300 years – I sure hope nothing catastrophic ruins this moment!
Mayor of Bean Village: Quit your jibber jabber, King Weenie – LET’S DO THIS!
Miss Bean Village: ROUND ONE! Tee-hee!
Hot Dog King: I’m gonna bun you, Beany!
Mayor of Bean Village: Bring it on, Meat Tube!
Hot Dog King: Taste my fury! Hey, why is the sun being blotted out by that foreboding cloud?
PF: That’s the Hairstorm, your highness.
Mayor of Bean Village: THE HAIRSTORM! I sent you to STOP the Hairstorm, Mutant! The day is ruined! BEANS, ASSEMBLE! WE’RE GOING TO WAR!
Bean Crowd: HOORAY!
Prime Ministache: Sir! Please, it does not have to come to this.
Hot Dog King: Hairstorm? During Annual Wrestling Day? That tears it! Hot Dogs, prepare to attack the Moustachio Territory!
Hot Dog Crowd: HOORAY!
Prime Ministache: Gentlemen, surely we can avoid war! Professor Fliggins, you must intervene!
Hot Dog King: This Pastry? Intervene? He couldn’t even find my crown!
Mayor of Bean Village: Beanchowski! Fetch the Splashy Smashy apparatus so we can dispose of this Mutant once and for all.
PF: Now wait you reactionary loons! LOOK! IN THE DISTANCE!
Miss Bean Village: *gasp!*
Mayor of Bean Village: The Hair! It’s stopped!
Hot Dog King: But how? Is that a wall?
PF: Nay! Peer through my extending Monocle and be amazed!
Mayor of Bean Village: Why, the Beards and Moustachios – they’ve caught the Hairstorm in giant… hairnets!
Hot Dog King: …woven of more discarded hair! Ingenious!
PF: Thank you.
King and Mayor: WAR CANCELLED!
Prime Ministache: Well done, Fliggins! You saved us all from violence!
Miss Bean Village: How did you do it?
PF: I will tell you, but first, can someone PLEASE fetch my Dirigible and bring it here? I must FLY and shall never be without it AGAIN.
Hot Dog King: Certainly! Sausage Cadet, fetch the Pastry’s Airship!
Mayor of Bean Village: Beanchowski, get this Mutant some Bean Gas!
Prime Ministache: Royal Moustachio Air Force, come at once to aide in the Professor’s departure!