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Blobby Log Owners Manual

Tagged: The Environment
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Blobby Log Day 146

As written by Professor Fliggins in Chapter 10: Lumplands > Vol. 1

Timestamp: Blazing Hot Noon; Day 146
Weather: BLAZING.
Landscape: Looks fine to ME.

NOTES:

Land Lump: And do not forget to double-scrub each blade of Lump Grass after you have de-garbaged it!  Oh – you missed a blade over here!

PF: This is ridiculous…

Land Lump: GASP!  The Little Lumps!  LOOK!

Roy: Yikes!

Blobby: Whoah – how’d so many manage to get stuck in that 6-pack plastic ring?

Little Lumps: Lump, lump, lump, gulp, gasp, lump!

PF: Sweet.  Gracious.  You know, perhaps creatures that cram their necks into plastic rings DESERVE to check out of the evolutionary continuum…

Little Lumps: Lump, gasp, gulp, lump!

Land Lump: What a MONSTER that Mr. Demon is for doing this to our pristine pastoral lives!

PF: Yeah yeah, he is a real JERK…

Roy: Just tell him it’s your Ginger-Fizz plastic rings the Lumps are stuck in…

PF: Shh!  I shall rescue you Little Imbeciles from Mr. Demon’s carelessness!  Let unky Fliggins shake you free.  Shake-shake-shake!

Little Lumps: Ow, lump, ow.

Blobby: Where you want us to put these full garbage bags?

PF: I do not care; dump them into that pond or something…

Land Lump: No!  We shall have to construct a cannon to fire this waste into the sun!

PF: WHAT!  No no no…  Look here, we can use, um, all this…

Blobby: Huh?

PF: Just go with it…  Look!  These pie tins, for instance, they sure do make radical-tastic hats and fanny-shields!

Land Lump: What?  I do not know about that, my child…

Roy: What are you doing, PF?

PF: I am NOT sticking around here trying to figure out how to build a garbage cannon that will reach the sun, not with these nincompoops!  And these empty peanut bags are great for storing marbles, loose change, or more peanuts!

Land Lump: I mean… I suppose… but the cannon…

PF: AND this shattered glass!  It… could…

Roy: Make a beautiful mosaic of a tree or something?

Land Lump: OOOoooohh!  Now that IS something!  Trees are the wisest of all creatures you know…

PF: Yes, they sure are!  Well that explains a lot…

Land Lump: Yes!  I do believe we CAN use this waste for new things!  Let us finish repurposing all of it, then we shall help you escape!

PF: Oh lovely!  And do you see these paperclips and chewed bubble gum?  Separate, they are useless, but put them together and VOILA!  A pair of smart earrings!

Land Lump: Wow!  That is pretty now and I cannot explain why!

PF: Tres magnifique!  Let us hurry and be done with this before these tree-huggers catch on to us…

Lump Sixer

Current Mood: Under-breath-muttery.
Discoveries Made: Recycling!

Hereinto referenced: ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤

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Blobby Log Day 145

As written by Professor Fliggins in Chapter 10: Lumplands > Vol. 1

Timestamp: Bum-Crack of Dawn; Day 145
Weather: Grim.
Landscape: Litter-strewn, still.

NOTES:

Land Lump: We hope you are ready for a full day of cleaning, little professor man!

PF: *grumble grumble*

Land Lump: Oh, and so as not to contaminate your skin – or our sacred land – the Little Lumps have made you these bright orange clean-up costumes!

grrrrrRoy: Excuse me?

PF: It is quite bad enough that we have to stoop down and clutch waste, not to mention with these camouflage Lumps on our heads…

Camo-Lumps: Lump, lump, lump…

PF: But now we must wear tacky orange jumpsuits as well?  I refuse!

Land Lump: But you do not need to stoop down, we have these spears and trash bags, you will look like prisoners to the environment!

PF: I do not wish to…

Land Lump: OH WHY HAS THIS TRAVESTY BEFALLEN OUR SIMPLE LUMPY HILLS?!

PF: Okay okay okay…
%0professorisland.comailor: Duh, um we even made duh one with seven sleevey things for your little seven-legged bug friend, duh…

Roy: I’m a septapus, I’ll have you know!

Lump-Tailor: Lump, lump, lump…

Land Lump: All righty roo!  Get to work, environmental prisoners!

PF, Blobby, Roy, & Moustachia: Ugh…

Current Mood: SO IMPATIENT MY STOMACH LINING ULCERATES!
Discoveries Made: The way out of the Pits of Humiliation is NOT to dig deeper.

Hereinto referenced: ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤

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Blobby Log Day 144

As written by Professor Fliggins in Chapter 10: Lumplands > Vol. 1

Timestamp: Early Morning; Day 144
Weather: Cloudy, full of whining.
Landscape: Pretty dirty!

NOTES:

Land Lump: What an impossible crisis!

PF: Yes, yes.  It is simply awful awful.  BUT we NEED to figure out how to get an airship to Foodlandia without using the air.

Land Lump: Perhaps I could help you, child, but the countryside is coated in GARBAGE.  I cannot even BEGIN to think about your problems in light of this environmental DISASTER.

Blobby: PF, we should really fess up to dumping all that stuff on the Lumplands…

PF: Silence your Blob-hole!  We have more immediate concerns that the gradual damage wrought by simple litter!

Land Lump: Oh and the Little Lumps!  They do not know what to do with it all!  THE TRAGEDY THICKENS.

Little Lumps: Lump, lump, lump…

PF: Perhaps we could harnesses on you and Roy, Blobby.  Moustachia too…

Roy: Get real, monocle boy.

Land Lump: And the rain!  It burns!  Pollution!  Chemicals!  *Cough!  Cough!*

PF: Oh, give me a BREAK.

Land Lump: WE MUST BE RESCUED!

PF: OKAY! Enough.  If we help you clean up all this garbage will you help us get home?

Land Lump: Why… yes, my child.  The Little Lumps, they are so stressed out by this invasion of their habitat, they could not even begin to clean up any of it.

Little Lumps: Lump, lump, lump…

PF: *Stress…*

Current Mood: Begrudging.
Discoveries Made: Lumps am stoopid...

Hereinto referenced: ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤

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Blobby Log Day 143

As written by Professor Fliggins in Chapter 10: Lumplands > Vol. 1

Timestamp: Morning; Day 143
Weather: Preachy.
Landscape: Super Lumpy.

NOTES:

Well, it has been SO LOVELY meeting you, Mr. Lump and chatting about… um… the environment and all…

Land Lump: Likewise, my child.

PF: Yes…

Land Lump: I am of the environment…

PF: Yes! We REALLY must be going though – we have, you know, AN ENTIRE ISLAND TO SAVE FROM EVIL and all…

Land Lump: Of course…

PF: Allllll right, let us…

Flying Devil #1: Heys! What’s thems?

Roy: Flying Devils!

PF: Eeep!

Blobby: We’re doomed!

Land Lump: Quickly, children – place these little Lumps on your heads.

PF: Huh?

Land Lump: The flying red anger will think you are just part of the Lumplands. Hurry!

PF: Very well… come here, you!

My Life Has Meaning!Little Lump: Tee hee! My life has meaning now!

PF: Ugh…

Flying Devil #1: Heys! What’s is goin’s on heres?

PF: (in a high-pitched, Lumpy voice) Oh, nothing at all, good sir! Just Lumping around!

Blobby: Yep! Lumpity doo da!

Roy: Mmmhmm!

Moustachia: We’w weawwy wumpy!

Flying Devil #1: Hmms… I don’ts knows…

Flying Devil #2: Hey, everyones knows that Lumps can’ts lie!

PF: (squeaky still) YES! We are allergic to fibbery!

Flying Devil #1: Okays, but we’s gonna stays patrolin’ the skies here…

Flying Devil #2: Yeahs – if somethin’ funny happens, yous is meat-dead-like!

PF: (so shrill, so shrill) Of course! We will resume our Lumping! Lump, lump, lump, lump… Eh, chums?

Blobby, Roy & Moustachia: Lump, lump, lump…

Flying Devil #1: What a bunch a maroons!

PF: Great. Now we cannot fly away. This is great… Super radical great…

Tattle Lump: Land Lump, the countryside! Look!

Land Lump: What is that, my little… OH MY SWEET GOODNESS NO!

PF: Whassat?

Land Lump: Look at all this LITTER! On my hilly Lumps! Oh no… oh goodness…

Roy: Hey, PF – isn’t that the garbage we dumped to lighten the Dirigible?

PF: Shh!

Land Lump: This is just AWFUL. The Great Lump Mother is SCREAM WEEPING AT THIS ENVIRONMENTAL TRAVESTY!

PF: Hmm… Yes… a real bum out, to be sure. I wish that we could stay and help, but we really must figure out how to leave… without flying… or removing these squishy camouflage Lumps from our noggins… Ugh…

Land Lump: AHHHH!

Current Mood: Confuzzled. That is right. I am confuzzled to the maximum.
Discoveries Made: The texture of the underside of a Lump.

Hereinto referenced: ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤