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Blobby Log Owners Manual

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Blobby Log Day 88 (part three)

As written by Blobby in Chapter 5: Ninjatown > Vol. 1

Timestamp: Evening; Day 88
Weather: Stealthy.
Landscape: Ninjatown!

NOTES:

Pink Ninja: Ol’ Master Ninja – help!

Ol’ Master Ninja: Huh – wha?  Whozzat?  Oh, it’s you – what’s this doughy mound you’ve brought to my dojo?

Pink Ninja: His name if Professor Flaggins…

Blobby: Fliggins…

Pink Ninja: …and he’s been infected with Dark Syrup for more than ten days!  Can you help him?

PF: *gurgle gurgle froggy went a-courtin’…  crambo…*

Ol’ Master Ninja: Zounds!  A Professor!  My sweet sweet goodness!  I will do my best, but the Dark Syrup is a most powerful goo!  It’s evil stems from the very beginning of everything!

Moustachia: You have to save Mama!

Ol’ Master Ninja: Okay, floating friend – I will save your Mama – leave her…

Blobby: Him…

Ol’ Master Ninja: Leave IT here.  Everyone, please wait in the Meditation Bistro until I fetch you.  I have many ancient, mediciney stuffs that I must do…

Pink Ninja: Of course, Sensei.  Can I get you anything?

Ol’ Master Ninja: No.  Thank you.

Pink Ninja: Okay.

Ol’ Master Ninja: Well, could you maybe get me a green tea smoothie?

Pink Ninja: Sure.  Wasabi cream?

Ol’ Master Ninja: Oh yes, please!  Let me go retrieve my Ol’ Master Coin Purse…

Pink Ninja: I got it.

Ol’ Master Ninja: Thank you, dearie.  Now – time to combat the forces of evil!

Current Mood: Helpless.
Discoveries Made: Ol' Folk!

Hereinto referenced: ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤

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Blobby Log Day 88 (part two)

As written by Blobby in Chapter 5: Ninjatown > Vol. 1

Timestamp: Afternoon; Day 88
Weather: Speedy.
Landscape: Same evil trees...

NOTES:

Blobby: We’re lucky all those Flying Devils aren’t in the Dark Forest…

Pink Ninja: Good point.  I’m glad the other Pink Ninjas took care of trouncing their heinies so they couldn’t chase us in this Dirigible…

PF: *grumble groan…  so…  hungy…*

Roy: Hungy?

Pink Ninja: We gotta get Professor Fluggins…

Blobby: Fliggins…

Pink Ninja: …to Ol’ Master Ninja to cure him.  If we’re too late, the Dark Syrup will infect him forever!

PF: *I was told… cheese.*

Moustachia: Will Ow’ Mastew save Mama?

Pink Ninja: I hope so, Moustachia.  Ol’ Master Ninja knows all kinds of ancient, mediciney stuff.  If anyone can help your Mama, it’s the Ol’ Master.

Moustachia: *sniffle*

Roy: Poor, PF…  Hey, Ms. Ninja, remember when you said my cheeks were adorable?

Pink Ninja: Yes?

Blobby: UGH.  Get a room!

Roy: Shut up!

Pink Ninja: There’s Ninjatown!  Hang on, I’m bringin’ her down!

Roy: You’re get a room…

Current Mood: Hopeful!
Discoveries Made: Ninjatown!

Hereinto referenced: ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤

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Blobby Log Day 88 (part one)

As written by Blobby in Chapter 5: Ninjatown > Vol. 1

Timestamp: Morning; Day 88
Weather: Stinky Dark.
Landscape: Foreboding!

NOTES:

Pink Ninja: Okay, looks like we’re at the lair, in the Grumpy Tree, just South of the Stink Lagoon, like the Flying Devil said.

Blobby: That Stink Lagoon.  So appropriately named.  If I had a nose or nose hairs, they’d be incinerated right now.

Pink Ninja: Hush!  We have to catch Mr. Demon off-guard, or else we’ll alert his minions and then we’ll all be Blobby Soup!

Roy: Sick!

Moustachia: Gwacious!

Pink Ninja: Moustachia, can you sneak in, tell us what he’s doing and if there’s anyone else in the lair?

Moustachia: Oh absowutewy!

Pink Ninja: All right, while she’s surveying the scene, you guys are gonna have to create a diversion so I can…

C R A S H ! ! !

Moustachia: AHHHH!  HEWP!

Wee Devils: Gets it!  It’s flyin’s aways into tha Forest!

Moustachia: AHHHH!

Blobby: Like that?

Pink Ninja: Yes.

Roy: That’s a lot of Devils.

Pink Ninja: Hopefully that’s all of them too.  Moustachia will have to evade them long enough for us to ambush Mr. Demon.

Blobby: Well let’s hurry and get PF quick or those Wee Devils will capture Mous-

Moustachia: AHHHH!

Blobby: -tachia.

Pink Ninja: Well, c’mon!  Quiet now…  You must move with the silent stealth of a stick bug…

Roy: Oh are those the ones that look like sticks?

Blobby: No, I think those are called “branch beetles.”

Pink Ninja: Just move silently and stealthily!

Wha?!?!Mr. Demon: How annoying…  Can’t I enjoy my evil newspaper without flying moustaches coming in and RUINING IT?  Where was I?  Hmm…  Hey, stock in evil paper clips is up!

Pink Ninja: That’s not the only thing that’s up, Mr. Demon!

Blobby: Yeah, the jig!  The jig is also up!

Roy: I think that was implied…

Mr. Demon: Huh?

P O W ! ! !

Mr. Demon: Ow, my glasses!

B I F F ! ! !

Mr. Demon: OOF!

D i n k ! ! !

Mr. Demon: That was a permanent tooth!

Pink Ninja: Hold still!  Blobby, Roy — use the straps of these Devil Wings to tie him to this evil stump!

Blobby: Roy can handle it; I have to continue typing this battle…

Roy: I’ll type you…

Pink Ninja: Good!  That’ll hold.  All right, you pile of weasels — where’s the Professor!

Mr. Demon: I’m not tell…

D i n k ! ! !

Mr. Demon: OW!  Geez!  Quit knockin’ out my teef, tomorrow’th taco night!

Pink Ninja: Well then talk!

Mr. Demon: He’th right over there!  I’m gonna need an evil dentitht…

PF: *Groan grumble…  No more torture, please – I am quite full…*

Moustachia: AHHHH!

Roy: He don’t look so hot.

Blobby: How are we gonna get out?  We have to carry PF, and he’s not what you’d call “low cal.”

Roy: We’re DOOMED!

Pink Ninja: Chill out!  Where’s that hot air balloon thingy you were talking about?

Blobby: The Dirigible is right outside, but it’s deflated of Bean Gas and it’s ripped!

Pink Ninja: Don’t worry.  Everyone take some Ninja Gum and blow bubbles into the empty air sack!

Roy: Ms. Ninja, you are very quick-witted in high-pressure situations…

Pink Ninja: Thanks!  Now hurry up and blow till your adorable little cheeks burst!  You too, uggo!

Mr. Demon: Why, I refuse to *mmph!*

[Blobby’s note: Approximately 10 minutes has passed…]

Blobby: That should do it!

Roy: My adorable little cheeks hurt!

Moustachia: AHHHH!  They’we hewe!

Pink Ninja: Everyone, into the basket!  You too, Professor – UNGH!  What’s this guy full of?

Roy: Knowledge.

Blobby: And cheese.  Lots of cheese.

Roy: Yeah, knowledge, but mostly cheese.

PF: *mmm*

Pink Ninja: Here we go!

Mr. Demon: I’ll get you for ruining taco night!  I know where Profethor Island ith, and oneth I conquer it, then I’ll rule the whole entire WORLD!  BWAhh-haha-ha! *spittle*

PF: *groan – where… cheese..?*

Current Mood: My cheeks hurt.
Discoveries Made: Mr. Demon wears glasses!

Hereinto referenced: ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤

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Blobby Log Day 86

As written by Blobby in Chapter 5: Ninjatown > Vol. 1

Timestamp: ...; Day 86
Weather: Sunshine - I can see it!
Landscape: Trees rushing by.

NOTES:

Blobby: Go go go go go go go go GO GO GO GO GO!!!

Moustachia: We’w huwwying as fast as we can!

Blobby:
Huwwy faster!  Those Flying Devils are gaining on us!

Roy: You could help, buddy.

Blobby: There’s no time to help, RUN!

Flying Devil: We’ll teach yous guys to steals our antidotes!

Blobby: Yikes.  So they found that out…

Flying Devil: Yous is lucky there’s so many trees in our ways, else we’ds be chewin’ yer faces alreadys!

Blobby: Chew your own face!

Roy: Blobert, don’t taunt the vicious flying demons!

Blobby: You’re not my dad!

Moustachia: Oh no, a cweawing!  We’w doomed!

Blobby: No where to hide!  Ruh-roh!

Flying Devil: Yeahs!  No wheres indeeds!

Blobby: Well all right.  Certain peril.  Okay.  Let’s do this…

?: What the heck is this?  Why are these uggos chasing this log?

Blobby: Whassat? Photopainting_86

Flying Devil: Oh cripe!  Ninjas, of the levitatin’ Pink variety!

Pink Ninja: That’s right!  And I don’t know what this scurrying piece of wood did to you, but I’m sure it’s harmless.

Flying Devil: Nuh-uhs – they stoles the Dark Syrup antidotes what we stoles rightfully from yous!

Pink Ninja: You stole antidote from us?  That’s it!  C’mon, girls, let’s pummel them into Devil-paste!

Flying Devil: Aw, nertz…

*SMASH – BOOM –CRASH – slapslapslap – FOOM – FACE BREAK – Ka-BLAMMY!*

(Blobby ed. Note – it is very difficult to typographically capture just how much Devil-butt these Pink Ninjas are kicking.)

*BLAMMO!*

Devils: Let’s gets outta here!  Yeah!  My face and body hurt!

Flying Devil: Yous cowards!  Gets back here!

Pink Ninja: All right – surround this lead Devil, Ladies!  We’re takin’ him into Ninja-custody!

Flying Devil: Super nertz!

Blobby: Oh thank you so much, Pink Ninjas!  We’re so lucky you Discovered us…  Oh hey – DISCOVERY!!!

Limited Edition Plush Discovery 5

Current Mood: Pink Saved!
Discoveries Made: Pink Ninja!!!

Hereinto referenced: ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤

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Blobby Log Day 84

As written by Blobby in Chapter 4: Dark Forest > Vol. 1

Timestamp: ...; Day 84
Weather: DARK!
Landscape: FOREST!

NOTES:

Blobby: Boy, they call this the Dark Forest for a reason, I can’t see a thing!

Roy: You’re… not… allowed… to complain.

Moustachia: My head huwts!

Blobby:
Sorry, friends, but if I don’t sit atop the Log, steering and documenting our Adventure, then I will be in breach of my Stenographer Oath, future generations will be robbed of these historic moments, and I totally got a thing with my backbone…

Roy: You don’t have a backbone!

Blobby: Fair enough.  Let’s take a breather and get our bearings.  Roy, you can maybe even photopaint!

Roy: *grumble grumble*

Blobby: The volcano – Mount Feroshi was it? – is still a good distance away.  I don’t know how we’ll ever make it to this Ninjatown for help…

Flying Devil: Hey yous!  I thought I saw somethins ridiculous-like runnins out of the Darks Lair!

Blobby: Oh noes!

Flying Devil: I’m gonnas thump you goods I will!

Roy: Darn!  I knew I should have worn gloves to cover my inky trail!

Blobby: Roy, we’re done for!

Attack!Moustachia: Hey, wait a second!  I’w show you to be jewk-mouth!

Flying Devil: Whoa whoa!  Stays away from theres, ya cookie duster!

* S N A P ! *

Flying Devil:
My wings!  You wreckeds ‘em!  You’ll pays for this in both literal and figurative fashions…

* C R A S H ! ! ! *

Blobby: Moustachia, what’d you do?

Moustachia: His wings wewen’t weawy weaw!  I chewed frew‘ the stwap and made him cwash!

Roy: Brilliant!

Blobby: That faker wasn’t even a real Flying Devil, he’s just got magic attachable wings!  Well, let’s hurry up and get out of here before he comes to – MUSH!

Roy: Ugh…

Current Mood: ...
Discoveries Made: The Flying Devil is a LIAR!

Hereinto referenced: ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤