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Blobby Log Owners Manual

Tagged: Dark Syrup
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Blobby Log Day 99

As written by Professor Fliggins in Chapter 6: Isle of Detached Shawnimals > Vol. 1

Timestamp: Evening; Day 99
Weather: PERFECT!
Landscape: IT'S ALL PERFECT!

NOTES:

Oh, Blobby – I love being home!

Blobby: Oh, PF – you’re not home!

PF: All the Professors may look intensely messed up, but finally I am getting the acclaim and prestige I fought so hard for all those weeks ago when we set out.  I know that some pure Discoverists shun this kind of attention, but it feels too super excellent!  And Professor Professor wants to have a private dinner with me tomorrow, so how wrong could I be?

Moustachia: Mama, knock it off!

Roy: It’s like talking to a piece of wood.  A big dumb piece of wood.

Blobby: PF, that’s not Professor Professor, that’s the High Chancellor of the Isle of Detached Shawnimals, and friendly or not, he kinda freaks me out.  I’m not even sure which of his faces to make eye contact with.

PF: You are some kind of jealous blob of farts!  I am famous now!  Every meal I will eat from now on will be a banquet!  Every toddler Professor will pretend to be me in make-believe games!  Every room I step into will shower me with gifts and gold!

Blobby: Hmm…

Roy: I’m not touching that one.

PF: Face it, you all just wish that you were as important to the Universe as me, but you are merely my employees, and will always be below me.  I am leaving for another banquet with Professor Monkey Claw, I will talk to you all again after you have dealt with REALITY.

(door slam)

Blobby: Man, there is definitely some evil left in PF.

Roy: I hope so.  That was really harsh.

Moustachia: What a jewk!

Blobby: We’ll fix this.  We’ll fix it…

Current Mood: ...
Discoveries Made: ...

Hereinto referenced: ¤ ¤

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Blobby Log Day 96

As written by Professor Fliggins in Chapter 6: Isle of Detached Shawnimals > Vol. 1

Timestamp: Mid-Afternoon; Day 96.
Weather: Delightfully sunny!
Landscape: Sandy, if not freckly.

NOTES:

Bingo Clem: Detached Island protocol is such that you all have to stay here in the halfway house until you’ve been properly oriented to our customs.

Blobby: Why is this called the Halfway House?

Bingo Clem: Because it’s halfway between the beach and the village!

Roy: That makes TOO much sense.

Bingo Clem: We can’t help but make sense here on the Isle of Detached Shawnimals.

Blobby: What exactly is this place?

PF: It is Professor Island, you nit-filled-wit!

Blobby: No, he just said this is the Isle of Detach…

PF: Horse feathers!  This is most certainly Professor Island – this hut is nestled on the Smartsy Dunes, just out that window is Monocle Chain River, which leads to the cool waters of Lake Monocle – whose shady banks I lounged upon when I first was becoming a disciplined student of Discovery.

Bingo Clem: Well, no disrespect, friendo, but we’re on the Freckle Beach, that’s the Face-water River, and I don’t think we have much-o-that discipline here…

PF: Poppycock, deformed Professor Clem!

Bingo Clem: No matter – once you are settled, I shall take you to the High Chancellor itself, then you’ll know exactly who and where we are!  We are detached, to be sure!

PF: Professor High Chancellor!  Sounds like a proper welcoming emissary for a Discoverizing HERO such as myself!

Bingo Clem: You will be welcomed, all right!  Let me make sure your bed-quarters are done up…

PF: Superb!  I shall accompany you to supervise and give orders toward my preferences of comfort.

Bingo Clem: Well, all right…

Blobby: Hmm. PF is acting strange…

Moustachia: What ewse is new?

Roy: No, but he’s bein’ extra weird.  I don’t think he’s fully recovered from the Dark Syrup.

Blobby: I guess we’ll see what happens when we meet this High Chancellor guy.

Current Mood: Happy to be home!
Discoveries Made: A bizarro Professor Island

Hereinto referenced: ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤

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Blobby Log Day 91

As written by Blobby in Chapter 5: Ninjatown > Vol. 1

Timestamp: Morning; Day 91
Weather: Ouchy on my face.
Landscape: A bed?

NOTES:

Blobby: Unh… My face feels like it was passed through the gears of the Professor Island Clocktower…

Roy: You and me both, sister.

PF: Well do not sit there feeling sorry for yourselves, boys – we have Discoveries to Discover!

Blobby: Oh, hey, PF.

Roy: Hey…

PF: Blobby, Roy – when I say something consciously and in character like that, you are supposed to exclaim an exclamation, then run to me for triumphant embraces!

Blobby: Sorry, PF – my face hurts too much…  from the evil purge…

PF: Well, I feel like I deserve triumphant embraces!

Moustachia: MAMA!

PF: *Ooof!* Hello, little Moustachia.  Did you miss your mama?

Moustachia: Oh, TEWIBWY!

PF: Mama missed you too, tiny one.  Your affection levels are QUITE appropriate for the occasion.

Blobby: Ugh.

Ol’ Master Ninja: Ah, good to see you up and moving all!  Welcome back from the brink of darkness!

PF: Thank you, Old Master!

Detox...Ol’ Master Ninja: Now, Professor, because you and Roy here have been extra-infected with the evil Dark Syrup, we are going to have to have you practice all kinds of joyful meditation, to give the last bits of menace the ol’ heave-ho!

PF: Of course!  I certainly still feel a little evil – especially toward my ungrateful compatriots here.

Blobby: What the…

Roy: It’s not worth it, man.

Ol’ Master Ninja: Well, get some rest.  I shall check on you again shortly.

PF: Word up, son!

Blobby: *Sigh…*

Current Mood: Okay, Blobby, I shall resume my Professorial duties reporting in this portion of the log. You have done valiantly while I was under the spell of the Dark Syrup. Thank you, dear friend.
Discoveries Made: The evil depths of my soul!

Hereinto referenced: ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤

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Blobby Log Day 90

As written by Blobby in Chapter 5: Ninjatown > Vol. 1

Timestamp: Morning; Day 90
Weather: Not horrifying.
Landscape: Ol' Master Ninja's dojo.

NOTES:

Ol’ Master Ninja: Okay, little ones.  We’re going to get started right away.  This is probably going to be pretty scary.

Blobby: Like how scary?

Roy: Like terror is a beast and he has you in his jaws, and he’s just shaking and shaking you, side to side, forever and ever and you wish he’d just eat you and get it all done with but he won’t, he just wants to shake you in his mouth forever.

Blobby: Oh.  I would like to leave now.

Ol’ Master Ninja: It’s just a little sheer terror!

Blobby: Are these Medieval face harnesses really necessary?

Ninja Consultant: Hold still!

Blobby: *CRUNCH*

Ninja Consultant: OW!  Ol’ Master, he bit me!  On my only arm!

Blobby: Sorry, it must have been my very deep-rooted survival instinct.

Ol’ Master Ninja: Okay, all ready?

Blobby & Roy: NO!

Ol’ Master Ninja: Pink Ninja, hand me the Syrup.

Pink Ninja: Yes, Sensei.

Blobby: Be cool, man!  Just be cool!

Ol’ Master Ninja: You’ll only be under for a little bit, we just need to link your minds up with Professor Fliggins long enough to find where his main sources of evil are residing.  Then we’ll work to revive you right away.  Here we go…

*B l ooooo p!* *B l oooooi p!*

Blobby: Hey, this isn’t so bad.

Roy: Hmm, yeah.

Blobby: Well, what else you got Ol’ Master Higgaba?  Higgaba!  Bliggit!  BLAGGAM.      BLOOGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA…                 BLOOGBLOOGBLLOGAGAGA!      It’sOKAYgigigibuhbuhbuh…..          0000000000i0i0i.       BRERNP   brern   brern pingpingPINGDING      ding d.i….n.g.    shmashy.  WHERE IS THE ISLAND? >>>><<<<>>>><<<< duhduhduhduhbuhlamlamlam WHERE IS THE EYEDuhduhduh *******                  grapgrapgrapipipi.                     WHERE IS THE ISLAND HE DOESN’T KNOW WHERE IS THE ISLAND ——- in in in ——– xixixixi.iixo.i. ——— 777yyy777 THE ISLAND? our-islands-are-mobile-body-continents, our-bodies-are-mobile-island-land-lands, our-bodies-are-mobile-away-from-the-island-land, our bodies, STUBBLER, our bodies, DEMON, STUBBLER, inside our islands, our knee caps, our polar knee caps, right knee caps, our bodies are knee caps our right polar knee caps, the islands are right mobile knee caps THEANTIDOTETHEANTIDOTE.                     grebgebgrebgeb.

POWP.

POWP.

Powp.

Powp.  Powwwwwwwwww-pssshhhhhhahhhhhh…

*CLUNK thud*

Current Mood: ...
Discoveries Made: ...

Hereinto referenced: ¤ ¤ ¤

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Blobby Log Day 89 (part two)

As written by Blobby in Chapter 5: Ninjatown > Vol. 1

Timestamp: Early Afternoon; Day 89
Weather: Ninjas jumpin' around all over!
Landscape: Jolly sadness assasins everywhere.

NOTES:

Ol’ Master Ninja: Blobby, Roy – welcome!  Now it should be known right off the bat that what I need you to do is NOT SAFE WHATSOEVER.

Blobby: Oh darn.

Ol’ Master Ninja: I’ve been able to discern from the Prof.’s incoherent ramblings that Mr. Demon has made him reveal much information regarding Professor Island’s inner workings and secrets.  Mr. Demon will no doubt attempt to exploit Professor Island’s resources and people, but I am quite certain Fliggins doesn’t know how to get back there.

Roy: So Mr. Demon won’t know how to get there either?

Ol’ Master Ninja: Not immediately, but don’t underestimate the evil ingenuity at his disposal.

PF: *gurgle – I.  Not.  Garbage.  Disposal.  Ungh – slurrrp*

Roy: HOLY CRUD!

Blobby: What’d you do to the Professor?  HE’S GIGANTIC!

PF: *borf*

Ninja Consultant: Well, we’ve been pretty much feeding him Ninja Star Cookies nonstop.

Ol’ Master Ninja: Professor Fliggins has had so much evil Dark Syrup in him for so long, we had to stuff him with the goodest…

PF: *mmph – most good…*

Ol’ Master Ninja: …the most GOODNESS that we had at hand, that being our famous Ninja Star Cookies.

Roy: Man, oh man…

Blobby: How good can they be?

Ninja Consultant: Pretty good.  Four out of five Ol’ Masters recommend them for banishing evil toxins forever.  Here…

Blobby: *crunch.  Chew-crunch-chew.* Okay – that’s pretty tasty, but what do you need from Roy an’ me that’s so dangerous?  [small font] This cookie is making me feel less evil already…[/small font]

Roy: Yeah, I’m not gonna help you feed PF cookies…

Ol’ Master Ninja: Sadly, the cookies are not working.  We need to take more drastic measures.  Blobby, Roy:  I need you to ingest some Dark Syrup.

Roy: Oh forget that noise!

Blobby: Uhhh, yeah, no.  You didn’t see what it did to Roy – he was painting all kinds of scary junk – he was a mess!

Roy: My ink bladders stung from the evil.

Ol’ Master Ninja: I know, I know – but it’s precisely that “scary junk,” as you say, that we need.  As Professor Fliggins’ close friend, Roy was connected to his unconscious mind, and if we can access that more directly in a marriage of image and words, we’ll know where to…

PF: *B U R RRrRrrRRrrP!*

Ol’ Master Ninja: …where to find the evil hiding inside him.  Then we may isolate it and root it out with special friendship attacks.  It’s the only way and we’re running out of time.

Roy: Bogus.

Blobby: Man.  You guys have that antidote, right?  You can keep us from getting as bad as PF ‘cuz it’ll be less than ten days that we’ll be infected… RIGHT?

Ol’ Master Ninja: I mean… probably?  Ninja Consultant?

Ninja Consultant: I’d say it’s about a 50% chance…

Blobby: CRIPES!  I don’t know…

Roy: There’s got to be a better way!

Ol’ Master Ninja: Look, friends – I have tried everything I know and this is our only option left.  I’m sorry.

Blobby: What do you think, Roy?

Roy: Man, it’s like, I really LIKE PF, you know?

Blobby: Me too…

Roy: But in order to do this – I mean, we’d have to LOVE him.

Blobby: Yeah, I thought that…

* CONTEMPLATIVE AND DRAMATIC PAUSE *

Blobby & Roy: Okay, Mr. Ninja.  We’ll do it.

Ol’ Master Ninja: Gentleman, you are more noble than any king I have ever met.  Truly.

Blobby: *Sigh*

Delicious and healthful

Current Mood: A dark and determined love.
Discoveries Made: The limits of friendship extended.

Hereinto referenced: ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤