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Blobby Log Owners Manual

Tagged: Isle of Detached Shawnimals
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Blobby Log Day 100

As written by Professor Fliggins in Chapter 6: Isle of Detached Shawnimals > Vol. 1

Timestamp: Afternoon; Day 100
Weather: Sandy and sunny
Landscape: Tropical with a hint of shanty


I should not have even brought you to this feast, so do not mess up my important dinner with Professor Professor.  There is no place for your jealousy here!

Blobby: I won’t screw up your dinner with the High Chancellor, PF.  Even though you’re so messed up you can’t even tell the difference between a giant pile of appendage loose-ends from Professor Professor.

Bingo Clem: Hey, everybuddies!  How are you?

PF: Marvelous, my esteemed colleague!  I feel like every day of my new life is like getting a foot massage on the moon!

Roy: Is that good?

Bingo Clem: Yipee!  We’re all so glad you like it here, Mr. Fliggins.  We can all tell you’re gonna be someone special here – you’re important to us.

PF: Well thank you, Professor Monkey Claw!  At least SOMEONE appreciates me.

Moustachia: Ugh.

Blobby: What a diva.

Bingo Clem: We DEFINITELY appreciate you, sir-buddy!  That’s why the High Chancellor called this dinner meeting.  Oh here it is now!

(loud, unbearably out-of-tune trumpets)

Blobby: GAH!

High Chancellor Mouth #1: Welcome, welcome, all.  Please, please be seated.  We have many delicious and detached foods to chew!

PF: Thank you, Professor.

High Chancellor Mouth #2: Thank YOU, Professor.

High Chancellor Mouth #3: Pass the detached peaches, please.

High Chancellor Mouth #1: It is an honor having a hero of your stature in my palace, Mr. Fliggins.

PF: Well, it is an honor being treated like how I deserve.  FINALLY.

High Chancellor Mouth #3: mmph-chew-yeth-slurp-finally!

High Chancellor Mouth #2: You know, you are more than our ordinary new resident here,

PF: I have been feeling very EXTRAordinary, sir.

High Chancellor Mouth #1: You are.  You are.

High Chancellor Mouth #2: Can I tell you a story?  It is a very old one for us.

PF: But, of course!

High Chancellor Mouth #2: Very well.

High Chancellor Mouth #1: Long ago, of course, this isle was quite bare.  The only acceptance these shores knew was a cultivating of silence and empty.

PF: Mm-hmm…

High Chancellor Mouth #3: Blurrrp.

High Chancellor Mouth #2: One day, a very grumpy sailor creature washed ashore onto this very isle.

High Chancellor Mouth #1: This was many centuries ago…  the isle, uninhabited…

High Chancellor Mouth #2: Yes.  The sailor-thing was sure he was soon, at any moment, going to be greeted by beautiful native ladies who would dump on him island treasures and native lady affections.

High Chancellor Mouth #1: Therefore, each night for a week he made sure to shave off his moustache so as to most handsomely receive these hypothetical island maidens for a date.

High Chancellor Mouth #2: Of course, these fictional native women never arrived.

High Chancellor Mouth #1: And his seven shorn ‘staches awoke and banded together to eject this grumpy fellow from the isle, least of all for his problematic views on the instincts of beautiful island maidens.

High Chancellor Mouth #2: The Seven ‘Staches surveyed the land decided to create an entire society here, a place where the pieces of whole folks on the mainland could run away to if the part rejected the whole.

High Chancellor Mouth #1: You have met the Moustachios earlier in your travels?

PF: Yes, I am this ones “Mama”.

Moustachia: You’w acting wike a jewk-mama.

High Chancellor Mouth #2: This little Moustachio and you – Professor of the ‘Stache – have returned to us for a reason.

High Chancellor Mouth #3: These yams are detach-a-licious!

High Chancellor Mouth #1: After the isle had accepted an eclectic cadre of broken and disillusioned creatures from around our World, the Seven Shorn ‘Staches who founded this great society, proud of their accomplishments but still the ultimate Detachers, broke a piece of the Island off, and flew it away to start a world just for Moustachios.

High Chancellor Mouth #4: The Prophecy has spoke that one day the Moustaches will return.

Blobby: Oh goodness.

PF: I agree with your third mouth, oddly-shaped Professor Professor, these are great yams!

High Chancellor Mouth 1-4: Professor Fliggins, we believe that you are the Moustaches that have returned to us to save us from Sadness!

PF: Of course I am!

(rustling in the feather palms behind us…)

Blobby: This is no good.  Hey, what’s that?

Crown-shaped Thing: Hey, don’t look at me!

Roy: Is that Crowny?

Blobby: Get him!

Fugitive Crowny: Eep!!!


Current Mood: Yammy
Discoveries Made: Many, many mouths!

Hereinto referenced: ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤

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Blobby Log Day 99

As written by Professor Fliggins in Chapter 6: Isle of Detached Shawnimals > Vol. 1

Timestamp: Evening; Day 99
Weather: PERFECT!
Landscape: IT'S ALL PERFECT!


Oh, Blobby – I love being home!

Blobby: Oh, PF – you’re not home!

PF: All the Professors may look intensely messed up, but finally I am getting the acclaim and prestige I fought so hard for all those weeks ago when we set out.  I know that some pure Discoverists shun this kind of attention, but it feels too super excellent!  And Professor Professor wants to have a private dinner with me tomorrow, so how wrong could I be?

Moustachia: Mama, knock it off!

Roy: It’s like talking to a piece of wood.  A big dumb piece of wood.

PF, that’s not Professor Professor, that’s the High Chancellor of the Isle of Detached Shawnimals, and friendly or not, he kinda freaks me out.  I’m not even sure which of his faces to make eye contact with.

You are some kind of jealous blob of farts!  I am famous now!  Every meal I will eat from now on will be a banquet!  Every toddler Professor will pretend to be me in make-believe games!  Every room I step into will shower me with gifts and gold!


I’m not touching that one.

Face it, you all just wish that you were as important to the Universe as me, but you are merely my employees, and will always be below me.  I am leaving for another banquet with Professor Monkey Claw, I will talk to you all again after you have dealt with REALITY.

(door slam)

Blobby: Man, there is definitely some evil left in PF.

I hope so.  That was really harsh.

What a jewk!

We’ll fix this.  We’ll fix it…

Current Mood: ...
Discoveries Made: ...

Hereinto referenced: ¤ ¤

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Blobby Log Day 98

As written by Professor Fliggins in Chapter 6: Isle of Detached Shawnimals > Vol. 1

Timestamp: Noon; Day 98
Weather: Perfect.
Landscape: Alive with Homeness.


Bingo Clem: We’re almost there, to the capital city of the Isle of Detached Shawnimals…

PF: Professor Island University campus!  Huzzah!

Bingo Clem: Actually it’s called “Limbton,” but you were close!

PF: Regardless huzzah!

Bingo Clem: Huzzah!

I think that rock just winked at me…

Is the ground giggling?

?: Tee-hee-hee-hee…

Bingo Clem: My friendlings, may your weary hearts feel no more persecution – welcome to Limbton, the capital of this fine land!

(Off-key and obnoxiously loud trumpets)

Wonderous!Blobby: What the..?

Singing Voices from Everywhere at Once:
You’re here, you’re here
You’re finally here!
Your days are free and empty of
Unbearable fear!

A Green Apron:

Welcome, welcome, welcome
Yer future is now!

Upside-down Udders:

No longer are you forced
To be squeezed on a cow!

What Appears to be an Enormous Bronze Elbow from a Statue of a Vegetable with Arms:

Universal acceptance
Is our M. O.

Twelve Mauve Toes, Harmonizing:

Once you put your feet up
You’ll never want to go-o-o-o!

Everyone Again:

You’re here, you’re here
You’re finally here!
Back there you are nothing
But here you are dear!

A Sink with Pockets and a Little Top Hat:

Being complete was
So incomplete

Three Dangly Earrings Wearing Sunglasses:

My best friend’s a tusk
And a wallet with feet!

— (The music stops)

A Giant Amalgamated Monstrosity with at Least Four Mouths Singing Together:

You’re here.  You’re here.
Be perfectly calm.
The only thing that’s right
Is being totally wrong.

Welcome to the Isle of the Detached.  May the Arrival Feast begin.

Current Mood: Elated, relieved, belonged.
Discoveries Made: The end of a journey.

Hereinto referenced: ¤ ¤ ¤

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Blobby Log Day 97

As written by Professor Fliggins in Chapter 6: Isle of Detached Shawnimals > Vol. 1

Timestamp: Afternoon; Day 97
Weather: Accepting!
Landscape: Familiarish!


Bingo Clem: …basically, the Isle of Detached Shawnimals is just that – a place where the detached can convene.  We welcome all those misfits who no longer fit in.  I’ve noticed you all staring at my head.

PF, Blobby, Roy, & Moustachia: NO!

PF: It is impolite to stare – no matter how freaky one’s head growths appear to be!

Bingo Clem: It’s okay!  Everything about this place and everything about me is detached and happier to be here reformed!  For instance, this black nub jutting out of my forehead – this used to be the arm of a Ninja who worked way too hard, constantly running data analyses and focus groups, his little arm got so tired of busy consultant work that it decided to pop off and run away here – or so I’ve been told.  Sometimes, the detached decide to become fully aware and alive – like my claw body.  Other times, the detached pieces just like to come here and live a relaxing and worry-free life.  That’s what the lizard tail and this Ninja nub have done and I think I look quite fetching as a result!

Roy: Sure you are!

Blobby: This is pretty interesting, Mr. Clem.  But, what do you mean when you say “everything” here is detached?

Bingo Clem: Well, for instance, this shack is made from the bark of Dark Forest trees that came here to no longer be evil – we get all of our wood this way.  And you’re familiar with Freckle Beach and Face-water River – the sand of Freckle Beach is actually the freckles of hundreds of creatures from around the world, the Face-water River are tears and spit, both frequently unappreciated, discarded parts of heads.  We put so much shame in freckles and tears, we hide them under make-ups and in hankies.  Here they don’t have to be ashamed for merely existing.  Here they are welcome and free.  This place, you’ll soon see, is an oasis of unique and delightfully peculiar beauty.

Blobby: Crazy.  Really, this is fascinating and all, but why are you keeping us here and telling us this?

Bingo Clem: It’s my job to welcome all the newly arrived immigrants of disillusionment!  You detached fellows no longer need to feel alone again!

PF: What a homecoming!  I DID feel so alone back on the old Professor Island!  This new Professor Island of the Detached should be a wonderful place to retire FOREVER!

Blobby: PF, stop, you’re confusing everyone.  This isn’t Professor Island.

PF: Rutabagas!

Blobby: Ugh.  Mr. Clem, our comrade here isn’t well, he’s recently been under the spell of Dark Syrup so he thinks he’s home…

PF: I am home!

Bingo Clem:
I think he may be home too, tiny friendship.  Our borders only open up for the detached.  Even though Mr. Fliggins is a little dazed, he seems to be a misfit, just like us, and I believe you all will fit in nicely here… for the rest of time!

Moustachia: Wuh-woh.

Roy: But we’re all pretty whole, except for flying ‘stachia over here…

Bingo Clem: Perhaps you think that you’re whole, but there’s a piece of all of your soul-parts that’s detached from something.  Perhaps you’re detached from your old home, perhaps you’re detached from your old self and mistakes.  Perhaps you belong here now.  AND THUS CONCLUDES ISLE ORIENTATION.  Let us proceed to happiness eternal!  Come with me.

PF: Smashing!

Roy: Wait!

Blobby: Guys, if we don’t snap PF out of it, we’ll never get back to Professor Island to save it from Mr. Demon!

Current Mood: Heroic.
Discoveries Made: The beginning of everlasting peace.

Hereinto referenced: ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤

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Blobby Log Day 96

As written by Professor Fliggins in Chapter 6: Isle of Detached Shawnimals > Vol. 1

Timestamp: Mid-Afternoon; Day 96.
Weather: Delightfully sunny!
Landscape: Sandy, if not freckly.


Bingo Clem: Detached Island protocol is such that you all have to stay here in the halfway house until you’ve been properly oriented to our customs.

Blobby: Why is this called the Halfway House?

Bingo Clem:
Because it’s halfway between the beach and the village!

Roy: That makes TOO much sense.

Bingo Clem:
We can’t help but make sense here on the Isle of Detached Shawnimals.

Blobby: What exactly is this place?

PF: It is Professor Island, you nit-filled-wit!

Blobby: No, he just said this is the Isle of Detach…

PF: Horse feathers!  This is most certainly Professor Island – this hut is nestled on the Smartsy Dunes, just out that window is Monocle Chain River, which leads to the cool waters of Lake Monocle – whose shady banks I lounged upon when I first was becoming a disciplined student of Discovery.

Bingo Clem: Well, no disrespect, friendo, but we’re on the Freckle Beach, that’s the Face-water River, and I don’t think we have much-o-that discipline here…

PF: Poppycock, deformed Professor Clem!

Bingo Clem: No matter – once you are settled, I shall take you to the High Chancellor itself, then you’ll know exactly who and where we are!  We are detached, to be sure!

PF: Professor High Chancellor!  Sounds like a proper welcoming emissary for a Discoverizing HERO such as myself!

Bingo Clem: You will be welcomed, all right!  Let me make sure your bed-quarters are done up…

PF: Superb!  I shall accompany you to supervise and give orders toward my preferences of comfort.

Bingo Clem: Well, all right…

Blobby: Hmm. PF is acting strange…

Moustachia: What ewse is new?

Roy: No, but he’s bein’ extra weird.  I don’t think he’s fully recovered from the Dark Syrup.

Blobby: I guess we’ll see what happens when we meet this High Chancellor guy.

Current Mood: Happy to be home!
Discoveries Made: A bizarro Professor Island

Hereinto referenced: ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤